Friday, December 17, 2010

Ask Chauntel Diary Entry


Hello Everyone,

I am sitting here enjoying my laughy-taffy.

And I am stoked because I will be introducing the blog to all new Ask Chauntel Avatars. That way I can give an expression when I give an answer with my blog posts.

Thank God school is over for this semester. I am planning to redesign http://www.askchauntel.com/.

If you have any exciting ideas please let me know. I would like to utilize them!

BTW I attatched my Merry Christmas Ask Chauntel Avatar!

Well that is all for now!

-Chauntel

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

10 Things Women Want Most From Their Man

Hello Ask Chauntel Readers!

This article was sent to me. Here is the link: http://www.bestdatingsites.org/blog/2010/10-things-women-want-most-from-their-man/

10 Things Women Want Most From Their Man

For many men, what women want from a relationship with a man remains a mystery. Often times, even after many years of marriage, the husband will still confess his confusion as too what his wife expects or desires from him as her mate. Men and women, generally speaking, communicate in very different ways. Therein lies the core to the problem. She says one thing and he interprets it differently. In the following listing, we will try to communicate those things women most want from the men in their lives in terms that can be easily translated by those of the male gender.


Tell her she’s sexy. Pay attention to the wording here. We didn’t use the word beautiful, gorgeous or pretty (although those are words women also like to hear). A woman wants to know that her man finds her sexually attractive. Anyone, male or female, could tell her she’s beautiful but if her husband or boyfriend really wants to make her glow, he’ll tell her how ‘hot’ she looks.
Provide a empathetic ear. One of the common mistakes a man can make is when the woman begins telling him about something that is upsetting her or concerns her. Often times, the man assumes that she is sharing this information with him in a desire for him to provide her advice or solutions to the problem. However, the woman is usually not looking for or wanting his advice. What she is wanting is empathy. It is therapeutic for her to simply talk through the situation with someone willing to listen and empathize with her concerns.


Give her a helping hand. Whether it’s helping clean up the house for company, helping get the kids ready for school or washing her car for her, providing a helping hand when she is stressed out with too much to do, will always be appreciated. Quickly assisting when she asks is a good thing but if you want to earn even more brownie points, offer to help BEFORE she asks.
Pride in her accomplishments. Tell her you’re proud of her accomplishments. Whether it’s her cooking talents, her achievements at work, her natural talents of creativity or her parenting, let her know that you’ve noticed. And don’t forget: a little bragging on her in the midst of friends and family for these accomplishments and talents will emphasize the sincerity of your praise.
Give a gift of your time. This may seem like a no-brainer, but it is actually one of the desires of a woman that is most easily overlooked. Taking a walk together, watching a movie together or accompanying her on a errand, communicates your enjoyment of her company. When you choose to give up your own plans to be with her, it can further reinforce that message of appreciation for her company.


Strength of Character. A woman wants a man she can respect for his strength of character. Jerks are a dime a dozen. She wants the man she’s with to be someone who is respected by others for his honorable qualities. When a woman sees a man treating other people with respect and courtesy, he will gain her respect as well.


Treat her as an equal. The mistakes men make in this area can be found in two opposite directions. Some men treat women as ‘helpless females’ and assume they need to be taken care of like a father taking care of his daughter. Other men go to the other extreme and expect the woman to tell him what he should or should not do, filling a motherly role. Most women don’t want to fill either of those roles. They want to be an equal partner, not someone following behind or leading the way.


Thoughtful surprises. Again, pay attention to the wording here. The keyword is ‘thoughtful’. If she loves last minute guests, then, by all means, surprise her by bringing friends home for dinner. If this ‘surprise’ would be added stress for her at the end of the day, then surprising her with a dinner out might be more along the ‘thoughtful’ lines. If you’re not sure about a surprise you are planning, give her friends or sisters a call. Ask their advice. If they truly care about her, they’ll let you know if you’re on the right track. If you’re not, they might be able to give you some good ideas.


Physical affection. We’re not talking about sex here. Sex is generally thought of as beyond the realm of mere affection. What we are talking about is putting your arm around her, holding her hand or kissing her. Those simple light touches communicate very strongly to a woman’s heart.
Pay attention to details. Women want their men to notice the small things about them that make the statement, “I know her well.” Do you know what kind of restaurants she likes? Does she like roses or would she prefer a mixed flower bouquet? What is her favorite drink at the coffee shop? Noticing these little things communicate value to a woman’s heart.


The differences between men and women go beyond the physical to the emotional and relational areas of their lives. Learning to take a woman’s perspective into consideration can take a man a long way towards strengthening or improving his relationship with the woman in his life.

10 Great Reasons to Use Dating Websites

Hello Ask Chauntel Readers!
Here is a great article that was sent to me! Check it out.
Here is the link:

http://www.topdatingsites.com/blog/2010/10-great-reasons-to-use-dating-websites/
10 Great Reasons to Use Dating Websites
Dating has always been done in a variety of ways, with dating services offering a great deal of assistance in the difficult venture. Although you may be well aware of who it is that you are looking for and what you want out of a partner, it can still be difficult to manage your time around finding the perfect someone to share your life with. Many times, you will continue to go through the dating scene as you find that you are constantly let down, which is a common peril of dating, no matter how you pursue it. Well, nowadays, dating websites are increasing your chances of finding that special someone to establish a relationship with, eliminating a great deal of the disappointment and pain that comes with most other forms of dating. Much like physical dating, there are many methods online with sites that will offer matching, blind dating, and even speed dating services, offering 10 great reasons to use dating websites.

Match-making on a higher level. When you take on dating by yourself, you will often find that the match-making is left up to you, and based on very little. With dating websites, you are given a higher level of matchmaking, ensuring that the most important elements are considered when you are matched with singles.

Singles find you. The search for the right one is over with online dating as you are able to post a great profile about yourself and allow the singles to find you based on what you have posted. Instead of having to go through singles yourself, you can allow others to spark up a chat or a relationship based on what they see about you that they like.

Avoiding rejection. When you utilize dating websites, you don’t have to try your hand at a relationship only to be rejected. Instead, you are able to go through the internet to find someone special, allowing you to avoid the rejection that is so common within the physical dating world.
Getting to know someone before you meet. How many times have you tried a blind date only to find yourself uncomfortable and unaware of what to expect from the other person. In some cases this can even be a little scary if you aren’t sure who you are really with. With dating websites, you are able to get to know a lot more about the other person before taking on the date itself.
Finding out if someone is really interested. Meeting people physically and taking on the dating process can be a bit difficult mostly because you never know if the other person is interested in you for you or your image. With dating websites, you are able to feel more confident that others are interested in you as a person and not just what they see or who you hang out with.
Less expensive risk. When it comes to dating, you can very easily lose a great deal of money going in on a date that just doesn’t pan out. Whether the date isn’t interested in you, or vice versa, it means a loss of the money you put in, making website dating a more cost-efficient way to meet new people.

Broader range of people. With online dating, you are getting access to singles all over your locality, as well as the surrounding areas, or maybe even an area you are interested in moving into. You don’t have to find those that are out in the clubs or bars late night, as the dating scene is brought right to you with the broadest range of singles anywhere.
No commitment dating. When you date physically, you will find that it is more difficult to cancel out or decide that you just aren’t interested in the other person. With dating websites, you are given the ability to choose who you want to chat with and when, not having to make any commitments or even having to talk to anyone you aren’t interested in.

Confidentiality is a plus. Although you are giving out personal information about yourself, you don’t have to risk giving out details that could lead to any further annoyance, such as giving out your address or personal phone number. Instead you can feel confident that all your most important information is kept safe and that no one finds out any close information about you.
Dating on your schedule. With work, school, or any other obligations creating a strict schedule within your day, you often don’t have time to get away and venture with dating. Using dating websites, however, you are able to date on your own schedule, never having to extend your schedule to meet singles.

Dating online is a more convenient and safer method of dating in today’s world, giving you a little help where it is needed most. Even the most successful and good-looking people need a little help when it comes to dating, and these dating websites ensure that you are able to take on the process successfully and with the best foot forward.

Saturday, December 4, 2010

He Dumped Me for His X

18-year-old Cali Girl writes:

Hey Chauntel,

In my college class we watched a video of you based on picking a major. Well i like how u give out the advice on love fashion and many more. Well i wanted to ask u a question based on relationships, i am 17 and will be turning 18 n the 24th of this month. When i was a cheerleader in high school my senior yr. i would go often to trader joe's with my mom, i would notice a cashier there and he would notice me too, finally one day after a game my friend took me to see him at trader joe's, i gave him my number because i figured he couldn't say anything to me since he was always working. Well we started tlking he called me and stuff things we were going ok, for bout 3 months then his ex-gf came around and well she told him to stop talking to me. First i gave him a picture of me in my cheer uniform and he had it up on his wall in his room, and when his ex gf came into his house to pick up some stuff she had left around. She saw the picture and took it with her, recently about three weeks ago she called him and told him not to tlk to me, so he called me on the 4th of november and told me he couldn't tlk to me because he did not want to deal with the drama of having her yelling at him all the time. So basically becasue of her he stopped tlking to me. He said bye and ill see u around, since then ive been very confused and i have no idea what to do. I like him alot, we shared so many cool moments, we never dated but he did come to the point where he said i love you, so i guess i felt special then. idk what to do? what do u think?
he also happens to be 25 and his ex. gf is about 23 .
please help me, i get tempted to call him but idk what to do plz help.


Hey Cali Girl,

You never want to be second best. In this case to him you are. Don't allow him to make you his rebound. I figure him and her might end up together again. It is better that he was honest with you now. I know you like him, but its in your best interest to let him deal with her. There is a another guy who will make you his number 1!

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel
askchauntel@gmail.com
www.askchauntel.com

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

He Wants Me to Move in With Him

18-year-old Bally from the UK writes:

Chauntel,

I need some advice its about guyswell im seeing somebody he says its serious tellin me to move in with himtells me he loves but when he sets a day 2 c me he cancels he done it many times considering he does work but he done it the other day but he never returned my calls or replyed 2 my texts its been a whole day i feel like i have to leave him but its so hard dont kno what 2 do with myself xxx :)He says he wants to be serious. been with him 6 months known 4 longer than that.

Hello Bally,

Relationships do not get easier, they get harder. If he is already pressuring you and it has only been a few months imagine how your life will be a few years from now. You are young, fresh, and vibrant! He is already showing signs of flakey, not good. Flakey behavior only gets worse. This is your time to explore and find out who you are and where you want to be in life.

I am all about finding love, but if he was in love he would have asked you to marry him, not to move in with him. Him saying he wants to be serious is just a cop-out. You being there all the time will just make it easier for him. He can have you take care of him, and get what he wants from you physically more often.

I am not buying it. Not yet, it is way too soon. No shacking up, meaning no moving in with a man until you are married. Tell him if he is this serious about you he will wait until he marries you to move in. If he cannot do that then he is just feeding you a line. Don't bite because it might get caught in your lip. Recipe for disaster.

Here is a video I made similar to your question. Watch:





I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel
www.askchauntel.com
askchauntel@gmail.com

How Do I Get Her to Like Me?

Zach from Kentucky writes:

Hello Chauntel,

First of all i have to say i love ur vids i spent over 3 hours watching them and i subbed theres this girl her name is kimberly she is very beautiful and ive liked her for 2 years im a freshman in high school and i need your advice please i really like her shes a girl any guy could love and i certantly am not the greatest looking guy but my friends tell me im more than average im good but not great so i hope i didnt annoy u with such a long message but plz help me out btw if i was your age i would chase after you cause your very smart in your decision making process and you just know how to talk to people my name is zach im white but it doesnt matter cause i certantly am not racist my best friends are cheeks malachi savion and evan see ya.

Hi Zach,

Thank you so much for taking time to watch so many of my videos! That means a lot!

Here is a video that I posted awhile back that is very similar to your question. Watch:



They Joke About My Bra Size

Tensi from the USA writes:

Dear Ask Chauntel,

My name is Tensi and I'm in the 10th grade.I've never had a boyfriend before or kissed a guy. I like this guy but there's a problem. He sits really close to me and i sometimes catch him staring at me. He has this friend and he's always saying how ugly i am and that im a nerd. The guy I like does not say anything back he just listens. One time i was helping this boy and he got all mad at the guy and was saying some crazy stuff. Not that long ago hes friend was telling him how he only likes white girls(I'm black) and he asked him if he did too. He said yea. His fruend why do you keep staring at her she ugly and if you want that I dont know what to tell you. Another time I had a tight shirt on and they was having a argument saying ohh shes a A cup and the guy I like was like no shes a B. Haha. When I see him in the hallway he always stops and seems like he asking people if they know me or something. One time he was walking down the hallway and i was eating lunch on a bench. He started staring at me and i started laughing he looked away and then he looked back again.I do not know what to do should I say something or should I wait on him. This has been going on for months. Do you think he likes me?

Hi Tensi,

No, I don't think he likes you. If a guy likes you he makes that apparent. Guys don't get hints so they don't give hints either. Regardless, this guy is SORRY with a capital S. If he had any wits about him he would have stood up for you. It is time for a new crush. Lets refocus our attention.

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel
askchauntel@gmail.com
www.askchauntel@gmail.com

My Friend Gets All of the Guys Attention

14-year-old Anonymous from Canada writes:

Dear Chauntel,

First off I want to start by saying I really love your videos and you give great advice.

One of my best friends that goes to school with me is very pretty and I feel like because of that people like her more espiecally boys. Whenever we walk down the hall together people always stare at her and not at me. I don't feel very pretty and confident. I dont know what to do if I should tell her how I feel and how to be confident in myself. During the second week of school at least 5 guys claimed that they liked her or thought she was hot and pretty. I am really frustrated angry and jealous of her. I need your advice I don't know what to do.

Hello Anonymous,

I encourage you to stop worrying about the attention your friend is getting. I want you to refocus your energy on appreciating the beautiful person that God has made you. Beauty can be seen on the outside, but it is what is on the inside that attracts people. Whenever you begin having those negative thoughts about your friend I want you to think about all the reasons that are not physical that make her beautiful. I then want you to think about all the unique and beautiful things that make you, you. Attention from guys will come, and go. It may seem like a very important thing to you right now, but you will soon learn that just because a guy has the hots for you does not mean that he will respect or treat you right. Don't rush this, in due time you will meet a guy who will love in you inside and out. I can assume that you may possibly be feeling this way because you may be seeking attention from your parents that you have been lacking. Not to worry my dear, you are going through puberty. Your body is going through a lot of changes, but this too shall pass!

Watch this video:



I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel
askchauntel@gmail.com
www.askchauntel.com

How to Talk to Women- Conversation Topics- Ask Chauntel

15-year-old Amber from Canada writes:

Hi Chauntel,

I currently like this friend of mine, hes very interesting and artistic we talk alot and i feel that we connect. Some of his friends are also mine as well. I just want to know what can i do for him to share more about him and ask more questions about me as well. BTW ...we also have alot in common as well ....and i love that we do. :D

Hello Amber!

This video should help:

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Does He Still Like Me?

17-year-old Brianna from Florida writes:

Dear Chauntel,

Hi my name is Brianna Alleyne and i'm 17 years old and I live in Florida. I have a question about this guy that i really like. I think he likes me but I don't know i tend to get mixed vibes from him at times. He told me 3 months ago that he liked me but i don't know if that changed. He is one of those guys that have a hard time showing emotion sometimes. He still gives me attention when he wants. Also a couple of days ago I asked him a very serious question Do you ever see yourself with me maybe in the future or am i just a girl? and all he said was humm good question but didn't answer. Was that a mistake? Or is he playing games with me and i just don't know it? Please help me!

Dear Brianna,

If he said he likes you 3 months ago he still likes you. You probably scared him with that question. He doesn't really know what to do right now. He isn't mature enough for the type of relationship that you want right now. Your best bet is to stay friends with him, and see what happens in the future.

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel
askchauntel@gmail.com
www.askchauntel.com

He Only Claims Me on Facebook

18-year-old Shanay writes:

Hey Chauntel,

Long story short me and this guy was getting to know each other and its been about 6months.. we put relationship on Facebook but we never called the shots we were just still getting to know each other but we both were very passionate about each other.. and acting as if we were already dating... well we got into a fight 2weeks ago about his high school home coming he didn't wanna take me and said he was going by his self. i was mad so i wasn't returning his phone calls so then this girl tags a pic of them from home coming he was kissing her on the cheek so thats when i knew he lied to me and the reason why he didn't wanna take me is because of her. and im confused because i treated him sweet and kind my heart was all in it his heart was not.. he started not texting me back and returning my phone calls till after a whole day went by when we were getting to know each other ..,,, now hes talking to this new girl that he took to his home coming while me and him was getting to know each other... and i just don't under why he lied to me and played those games if he didn't want me why would he let it go so far?

Hey Shanay,

A lot of guys do this. They have a desire to date multiple girls. He basically put you on the shelf for safe keeping and will only use you when he wants you. In other words he was playing you the whole time. The best thing that you can do is learn from this and try your best not to allow it to affect your future relationships.

Not all guys are like this, but you must be aware that men will get away with as much as women allow them to. So don't be fooled always ask questions and always guard your heart until you know that you have met the man whose heart you have. Then you all can trust and love each other. Just let him go he is playing games!

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel
askchauntel@gmail.com
www.askchauntel.com

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Should I Ask Him to the Dance?

by Adrian Chen
Megan writes:

Hi Chauntel,

My crush knows I already know I like him and we used to talk a lot in class but now we don't and I have a feeling that since he found out I like him. My friend and I are dying to know when he is going to tell me if he likes me or not. I try to take advice from my friends but I am too shy. And there is a dance coming up and he is not going and what should I do to convince him to go without making it seem like I am desperate, I want him to go but I don't wanna make it seem like I want him to go. What should I do?

Hi Megan,
If he knows that you like him, but he hasn't made a move that means that he is not interested. Guys should ask girls out unless the dance is saddies. I recommend that you try to become friends with him. If he is interested he will make that evident.

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel
askchauntel@gmail.com
www.askchauntel.com

Friday, October 29, 2010

Dating in High School

14-year-old Lela writes:

Im in 8th grade now and i have dated guy in the past and got hurt and i wonder how feshman year will be in dating wise.

Hi Lela,

Take your time. Don't rush into anything, and guard you heart. But have fun all at the same time!

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel

www.askchauntel.com

askchauntel@gmail.com

Thursday, October 28, 2010

I Don't Want to Loose Her, But I am Tempted

20-year-old Chiko from London writes:
Tsup Chauntel,

If you in a long distance relation right,how would you make it work coz m in love with girl so much bt their times i knda feel tempted to out wif some other girl but i dnt wana let her down...we are far apart and the time i will see her islike in a year..

Hi Chiko,

It's refreshing to have a man who cares enough about his girl that he would even ask this question. Good for you. Now here is the answer: You must let her go, if you are not going to be able to control your urges. She will be more hurt if you stay with her and cheat on her, than if you are just honest with her now. But do realize that if you break up with her that you may loose her. On the flip side if you stay with her and cheat on her she will probably be gone forever.

LD's are hard. It just depends on how much you want to be with her. If you know she is the one, then stop looking at these hoochies and be faithful. That way you keep you girl.

If you can't, let her go. She is worth more than that. She will respect you for it in the future.

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel
www.askchauntel.com
askchauntel@gmail.com

I Want a Kiss on Halloween

14-Year-old Andrew writes:

Dear Chauntel,

I'm going to see my girlfriend on Halloween. We've been going out for a while, and we really both like each other. I was thinking of having our first kiss on Halloween, somewhere private. But I kinda need help. So if you have a moment, please help.

Hello Andrew,

If you care about your girlfriend that is all that matters. It should be natural, so don't force it. You should not have to hide. That will put you into a bad position anyway and neither of you will be comfortable. You will know when the time is right. Wait until you are ready, and when you feel that it is time, give her a loving hug and then a kiss!

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel

askchauntel@gmail.com

www.askchauntel.com

I Fell In Love on Facebook

14-year-old Peter from Ghana writes:

Hello Chauntel,

I have seen a gal in facebook and i think i have fallen in love with this gal buh ever since we started talking abt love she said she doest loves me that am 14yrs and she 12yrs and also lives in the state am in ghana so she dont loves so wat sholud i do now since am in love wiv this gal. hope to hear from u soon!!!!!!

Hello Peter,

You are too far apart. You have never met her. You are too young to be in this situation. I don't want to see you get hurt. I suggest that you stay friends with her, and find someone closer to you.

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel

www.askchauntel.com

askchauntel@gmail.com

He is Taking Me Out. Does He Like Me?

18-year-old Roxi from Montana writes

THERE'z diS GUY RiTE && iN A WAY hE ThROWS ME hiNTS lYkE hE'S iNTERESTEd iN ME! hE WANNA dO ThANGS lYkE GO TO dA MOViES! Chill! && OthA GUd STUff! bUT iDk if hE'S fEEliN ME OR hE jUST lYkE ME AS A fRiENd! WUd YU PlllEEEAAZZZZZZEEEEEE! hElP ME ! iNEEd TiPS & ANSWERS! Oh & BY dA WAY iLUV YU & All Of YUR VidEOz! =) SMOOChEz!

Hey Roxi,

Guys don't waste time on girls that they are not intereted in. If he is spending quality time with you, and intiating times to hang out, then I got a hunch he likes you. It's too early to tell for sure. Give it time. If he continues you will know.

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel

www.askchauntel.com

askchauntel@gmail.com

Thursday, October 21, 2010

I Can't Get Him Out of My Head

13-year-old Lily from Montana writes:

Hey Chauntel,

I need help in a guy!..probly heared this a million times. So there is this guy named kooper who i realy like i have for 2 years now. he was dateing a friend of mine and i was sad but then another freind of mine let it slip to him that i liked him. he started to text me and we talked more. wehn he was dateing his gf he would always tell me that he like me and his gf the amount and would always tell me we would date eventouly but then one day he asked me if he should dump his gf..i told him yes and he dumped her! i felt bad but still i got the guy. but then he said we should wait a couple days and see if we should date. then he tells some of the guys at our school that we wont be dateing for a year!...when i finaly ask him straight on realy wanting a answer on weather or not we will date he says idk!...i feel like i am getting played like a piano. please tell me what to do. this has been going on to long and im sick of it!

Hello Lily,

Leave this guy alone. He is bad news. He isn't going to do anything but continue to cause you heartbreak. Put your energy into something else. He isn't worth it. You may have liked him for a long time, but he is giving you the run around!

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel

askchauntel@gmail.com

www.askchauntel.com

He Declined Me on Facebook

9th Grade Katie from Canda writes:

Dear Chauntel,
My name is katie an i'm in the 9th grade an I live in B.C Canada.I really like this boy thats in a few of my classes but i'm not sure if he likes me back,i'm getting the feeling he likes me because he I catch him looking at me a lot but we never talk.I am getting a little confused cause I tried adding him on Facebook but he declined my request.

Hi Katie,
If he declined your request that means he doesn't want to be friends with you. If he doesn't want to be friends with you then he definetly does not want a realtionship with you. It is best that you just focus your time on school. When the right guy comes you will know!

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel
askchauntel@gmail.com
www.askchauntel.com

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Long Distance Relationships

18-year-old Joyce writes:

Hey Chauntel,

So I have a question for you! My boyfriend is in the army and he has to go back to Iraq for the second time for 8 months. I am really sad! We want to stay together. What is your opinions of long distance relationships and do you have any advice for my situation

We have been together for almost two months, but we have known each other longer. We have the same morals and goals and I feel like we were meant to be together like God put us together for a reason.

Hello Joyce,

If you feel that you are meant to be, I believe your long distance relationship can work! However, you have to trust him fully. Either way you are very young so keep your eyes open.

If it doesn't work out for some reason when he gets back you don't want to be left without any options. If you decide to stay with him you must stay faithful to each other otherwise you will have trust issues, and your relationship will not have much to stand on.

If you know he is the one then I can understand you waiting. However, if you are unsure I think you are too young to wait around. It just depends on how serious you are!

I HOPE this Helps!

Chauntel

askchauntel@gmail.com

www.askchauntel.com

Interracial Relationships and Dating

15 year old Chante writes:

Hey Chauntel,

I just had a question on interracial relationships and dating. I'm interested in different race of guys, preferably white over black. I was talking to my friend about this guy and she said "He doesn't like black girls" *pause* ... I was shocked and I was thinking, it doesn't matter what race I am, I can wheel him in. Now, I am hesitant because I don't think I can because of my race. Advice please? (:

Hello Chante,

It is true that some people do not like to mix between races. Conversely, some people do not date their own race.

In your cause I would not assume that he wouldn't be interested in you because of your race. You should try to get to know him first before you do anything. So become his friend first, and take if from there. Your friend may be right, but you have no way of knowing that. Just be cautious, and do not limit yourself to one race. Be open minded.

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel

www.askchauntel.coma

askchauntel@gmail.com

Monday, October 18, 2010

Ask Chauntel Diary Entry

So, I see that more of you are actually coming on here to read my blog. That really inspires me.

To choose a question and highlight it, it takes some time. So if I cannot get those up we will do a few of these from time to time.

I actually email more people back then I post because sometimes their questions are too complex or long, or private.

So anyway today I had a Comm Law test. It was difficult. I am looking forward to this week. Maybe I will get a chance to do a video. Anywaz, I enjoyed Blog TV last week.

If I have one thing to say about love today its, it does not fear.

Sunday, October 10, 2010

How do I get out of this Long Distance Relationship?

13-year-old Daisy writes:

Hey Chauntel,

Okay, well there is this guy that i rly like, and he asked me out, so of course I said yes! But, the problem is he goes 2 a diffrent skool than me and i never get to see him... wat should i do?

The only thing is i still want 2 b with a guy that i can see sometimes, and it's like hardly ever with him.


Hello Daisy,

You should be honest with him, and tell him that. It may be hard, but it will be worse being in a relationship that you do not want to be in. It isn't fair to either of you for you to do that.Just let him know that right now you think it would be best for you all to be friends.

I Hope This Helps!
Chauntel
askchauntel@gmail.com
www.askchauntel.com

I Have Built a Friendship With Him Now What?

Love writes:

Hi Chauntel,
Uhmm... My friend said I should like build a friendship with my crush..and I have..idk what to do next though...can you help me?.. D:


Hello Lovely,

This video should help:

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Does He like Me?- Dating Advice- Ask Chauntel

13-year-old Jewel from toronto writes:

Hi Chauntel,

How do i know if he likes me i liked dis boy since grade 6 we use to tlk but i started likin him so i stopin grade 7 some of my frends knew so one day they asked him out i dont know why but they did he sed maybe but it was like the last day of school by the way he wasnt in my class grade 7 also we always looked at each other and somtimes my frends booked himso now he is in my class grade 8 and in class we always look into each others eyes and smile or if someone makes a jk we look and each other and smile also like in every class we sit near each othermy frends thinks he like my cuz he always looks at me and it's for long sometimes i dont even look at him cuz at the side of my eye i see him lookin at me and its awkward cuz my frends asked him out for me and i didnt tell them too so its awkward wen we tlkso my question is does he like me and do u think he is gonna ask me out and. wat are signs he does thank you.

Hi Jewel,

This video should help:


I Hope This Helps!
Chauntel
askchauntel@gmail.com
www.askchauntel.com

Monday, September 20, 2010

Is She a Gold Digger?


33-year-old Mbezzy from Maryland writes:

Hey Chauntel,


I recently went through a breakup with a girl and it ended pretty rough. We met under not the best circumstances..I met her through a homeboy who already had sex with her. We both actually had sex with her during the same weekend we met. I really thought her and I had a connection, so I tried to overlook what had took place and build a relationship. Her and I are both 33. She has two kids and I have none. Another thing I tried to overlook was that fact that she had one of her baby's fathers living at home. She told me about this the first night we met too. She stated it was for financial reasons and he was moving out soon. I looked at it as her being upfront. Anyway we dated for about 5 months and things were pretty rocky. I never could trust her due to the fact she lived about a hour and half away & I could never actually see what was going on. I gave a lot of money too her during that time for rent, gas, clothes, shoes, trip to florida etc. I never thought something like this could happen to me but it did. So after about 3 attempts of breaking up we're finally done. She told me all this stuff was all in my head etc. My question to you is..does this seem like I was being played by her?

by http://absentmindedoracle.blogspot.com/

Hello Mbezzy!


Yes. You were being played by her. Infact you were her Suga Daddy! She used you. I am sorry to say, but hey we all learn from our mistakes.


When your in a relationship there has to be give and take. What you have here is all take.


I Hope This Helps!


Chauntel

askchauntel@gmail.com
www.askchauntel.com

Saturday, September 18, 2010

How do I ask out my coworker?

21-year-old Joe from Nevada writes:

Hey I have a Question, so there is this girl that I work with and I've had a crush on her ever since I started working there for about over a year, she doesn't know that I have a crush on her, I haven't told her or anyone of my co-workers, so how should I go about telling her how I feel about her and asking her out. I also hardly talk to her becasue I never know what to say and start a conversation, I am a very shy person, so it is difficult for me to do so. Can You Please Help Me? Thank You.

Hello Joe,

The best way to begin a relationship is through friendship. You can approach her and say something as simple as, "Hey, I am Joe. I have seen you around, but I really haven't gotten a chance to know you. How do you like it here?" Continue the conversation and end with "It was really great talking to you. I would like to get to know you better. Do you want to go out for coffee/ice cream sometime?" Wait for an answer. Then ask for the the number!

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel

www.askchauntel.com

askchauntel@gmail.com

How to Tell Him I Don't Like Him?

14-year-old Doll writes:

Hey Chauntel!

This guy that i have been friends with forever just told me that he likes me. and i dont like him back. but i dont want to ruin our friendship. i also like this other guy who also likes me back. i told him i cant do anything right now because i am dealing with other problems but i dont want to loose him. HELP PLEASE! i watch all your videos and i follow ur advice and my social life has gotten alot better. please help me! thank you.

Hello Doll,

You should be honest but direct with your friend. If you don't like him he needs to know that. It's all in how you say it. Be gentle but be direct. If he isn't your friend after you are honest with him, then he never was your friend to begin with.

You don't want to miss out on any other opportunities like you have stated!

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel
www.askchauntel.com
askchauntel@gmail.com

Friday, September 17, 2010

10 Most Common Reasons Couples Breakup

Hey Guys Check this out from classesandcareers.com!
I hope you like! - Chauntel

10 Most Common Reasons Couples Breakup

Relationships can be very complex so it can be tough to know when to call it quits. Every relationship and every person is different so each relationship is unique. But many relationships have some major problems and it can be a sign that either the relationship needs to end or some serious changes need to be made. But for most relationships there usually isn’t a quick fix and these end up being the top 10 reasons couples breakup.

1. Balance of Power
The balance of power is critical in a relationship. If each person in the relationship doesn’t have an equal amount of power then the relationship will most likely fail because by the time they notice the imbalance it’s too late to fix.

2. Cheating
One way to sabotage or end a relationship is by cheating, so just save the heartache and betrayal and end the relationship if it’s comes down to that.

3. Abusive or Controlling
If a partner is abusive or controlling that is a hard habit to break, and it’s going to take a lot of guts in order to leave the situation, so decide if trying to fix the relationship is worth it, because there are no guarantees it will get better.

4. Moved On
Sometimes a relationship can be good but it’s just not worth the effort anymore because either one or both parties have moved onto the next chapter in their life. This isn’t always a bad thing; occasionally it’s good for everyone involved.

5. Change
One of the most annoying things that someone can do is start a relationship based on the expectation that the other person is going to change. The relationship should be based on who the two people are at that time and not some unrealistic expectation on person has for the other.

6. Rude to Family and Friends
If a partner insults the other person’s friends or family then they probably aren’t the right person to be in a relationship with. Most people’s family and friends are a part of them so when a partner treats relatives and friends poorly it hurts their significant other, and this could be the cause of a breakup.

7. Clingy and Emotional
Nothing can drive away a partner like being clingy and emotional. Each partner needs to have time apart because if they spend all their time together they will quickly tire of each other and that will be the end of that couple.

8. Lying
Lying can be extremely hurtful and can ruin a good thing. If a person can’t trust their partner then they don’t have anything except a dysfunctional relationship that will most likely end. However, the question is when will it end?

9. Money
If a couple is stressed about money it can quickly become a major hurdle to overcome in a relationship. If one person isn’t contributing to the household and their life together, or the couple is in a lot of debt it can lead to resentment and ultimately a dead end relationship.

10. Fear of Commitment
If one partner is afraid of commitment and the other is not then a lot of patience is going to be required. Sometimes waiting works and sometimes it doesn’t so the partner that wants marriage or a commitment may have to end the relationship and look for someone else that is ready for a commitment.
Relationships are tricky and they require a lot of work and effort. Every relationship has its bumps and some can be overcome but others cannot. The majority of relationships that have ended are a result of the preceding 10 problems. So if your relationship doesn’t have any of these problems then it’s probably worth holding onto, but if it does then carefully consider whether to stay in the relationship or end it.

Diane Johnson graduated from the University of Utah and enjoys writing, particularly about travel and online classes. http://www.classesandcareers.com.

Teen Internet Dating

15-year-old Butterfly writes

Hi Chauntel,

I met this guy online (he's legit, i made sure) and we've only been talking to each other for about 2 weeks now, but I am in love. Over the past two weeks, we've only gone one day without talking. A few times we've IMed each other for about 5 hours straight. Once, we stayed up talking until 3:38am! But suddenly he seems to have gotten less excited about our friendship. When we first started talking, he would end our conversation with something like "aww! i have to get off, sorry!" but now he just goes offline without saying anything. He also is spending more time talking to other girls. I know everything about him and he knows everything about me and I think that he may still be interested but I'm not sure. We have so much in common and have discussed all the important topics such as our future, if we want kids, what we want to be when we grow up, phiolosophy, politics, religion, music, literature, our family, drugs, alcohol, smoking, sex, friends and everything possibly imaginable! We have the same views on practically everything and are very compatable. I love him and think about him daily but I don't know if he feels the same way. I would love to just come out and tell him about how I feel, because I really trust him... but I worry that it might ruin our friendship. I also worry that the longer we take to further this relationship, the more opportunities other girls will get the change to have him. We live in different states but I am moving to his state within the year, so we would eventually be able to see each other.

Hello Butterfly,

I think you are too young to try to date a guy on the internet. Internet dating can be dangerous. You cannot be in love with someone who you haven't met. I would advise you to continue be friends, but don't make any meetings. You never know who might show up. It is not in your best interest. Get to know some of the guys at school!

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel

askchauntel@gmail.com

http://www.askchauntel.com/

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

How to Save My Relationship- Ask Chauntel- Relationship Advice-

Fashion's Night Out 2010

How to Talk to Women / Guys- Conversation Topics- Ask Chauntel

How to Flirt- Flirting 101- Dating Advice- Ask Chauntel

My Friend Is Depressed

Fred writes:

Hi there Chauntel,

My question is how can i help a woman friend who is facing bad times in her relationship. she is very in love with a man who sometimes ignore her. Thanks.

Hi Fred,

I think you are doing it! Just continue to be a friend to her. Remind her that she has people around her who love and care about her. Check on her, and make sure that she is getting out of bed and out doing things. Take her to the park. Remind her that she is beautiful. Make sure that she is active in a hobby or job. You don't want her to sit around in the house too much, she could go into depression if she spends too much time alone.

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel

www.askchauntel.com

askchauntel@gmail.com

He Left After Our Anniversary

Lila writes:

Dear Chauntel,

I started seeing a guy last year October and things were great at the beginning, constantly smsing and phoning me till i brought up the fact that our anniversary was coming up and since then things went down hill!!!!!!

We started seeing each other while he was still in a relationship but, at that time he hadn't seen the girlfriend for two years due to her being overseas. At this time they were not in any contact so were only in a relationship in name only. December i tried to end the relationship due to him being in less contact with me, after me bringing up our anniversary and i was scared of getting hurt. He told me that he doesn't want to end things because he really likes me and his just not used to being in contact with the person his with all the time.

We then got back together and a month later, then i ended it and he agreed, because at this time he finally ended things with his ex and was not ready to get serious. In February he came to my house and asked me to please wait for him cause he really likes me but is not ready for a relationship. As much as i wanted to say YES ill wait for you, i said no.

Just recently we got back into contact and i told him that i cant keep going back and forth with him, that he needs to make up his mind about what he wants. He told me that he doesn't want to loose me and he wants us to be together but take it slow. That night i ended up sleeping over and we slept together. I didn't hear from him for 2 days and that's when i went to his house and told him that I'm done with us, we going to keep having the same problems and left. The next day i emailed him telling him how i felt about him and said everything i couldn't say face to face.
He now has a facebook account and still hasn't added me as a friend, so i guess i just want to know if we still stand a chance and where i should go from here?


Hey Lila!

No use in racking your brain love. This relationship was doomed from the start. This guy needs serious time to deal with his issues, and you jumped the gun!

You should not have started talking about anniversaries until you both agreed to be in a relationship.

He is not in the same place as you mentally so you are off to a bad start. No matter what you do you cannot make this work. He has to be on the same page. He is on page 1, and you are on page 50. It is time to close the book, and open a new one. You have read as far as you can read in this one without getting a paper cut.

In other words, you are waisting your time and creating more opportunities to be hurt if you stay in this. Let him go.

I Hope This Helps!
Chauntel
http://www.askchauntel.com/
askchauntel@gmail.com

ABC's of College Dating

Hello Everyone!

Check out the ABC's of College Dating!

Here is the link: http://www.liberalartscolleges.org/blog/2010/abcs-of-college-dating/

Lots of Love!

Chauntel

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

He Lives in Germany and I Live In Chicago

17-year-old Ty from the US writes:

Hi Chauntel,

I think I'm in love I know I know you probably say "you can't but I am... But I hate it! I'm in this foreign exchange program with chicago/germany I'm going to germany in October, in january I started to email everyone who were in the exchange but this person who I didn't email, emailed me. His name is Tom, he's from Germany. But since january we talked all the time (email) everyday but oi began to have feelings for him the 1st week of April, he came to chicago in the middle of April, I really didn't know how he looked, but I didn't care.. When I finally saw him he was handsome to me for those whole 2 weeks we hung out , played jokes with eachother, he would sing to me, and flirt with me. I loved it! The day before he left my friend told him that I liked him, he said it was "too late" I said "too late for what" she didn't know.. So I didn't talk to him for a month until june we talked but it wasn't the same like the months before, so now when he emails me I just wait for days because I don't want to get my hopes up, and I know that it could never be an us because he lives in Germany and I live in chicago. But what should I do? Should I tell him how I feel when I visit him in Germany? Or forget about the whole thing?

Hi Ty!

Regardless of the fact that he lives in Germany and you live in Chicago, you should tell him how you feel! Continue to keep in touch with him, and when you visit Germany definetly let him know how you feel, but keep your options open. It may or may not work out with him, and you do not want to limit yourself especially since he lives so far. However, the possibilities are endless and he just might share the same feelings as you, but be prepared if he does not!

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel

www.askchauntel.com

askchauntel@gmail.com

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Date An Older Guy?

13-year-old Christel writes:

Hey Chauntel,

I just started highschool and I like this guy who's a year older than me and I never had a boyfriend in my life. I don't know if I should ask him out because I'm afraid people will make fun of me. Also is it a good idea to go out with a guy who's older than you?

Hi Christel,

Girls should not ask guys out! So no let him do the asking. The key is friendship which equals flirting which equals the chance at a relationship! Check out My video! It should help!


I Like Three Girls!

20-year-old Mike from California writes:
Dear Chauntel,
I have a big problem and i need your advice. ok here it goes i like three different girls and they all like me and i have to choose but i can't, please help me.

Hi Mike,
You should date them until you find out who is best for you. Just be honest in letting them know that you are dating and not in a relationship.
I Hope This Helps!
Chauntel
askchauntel@gmail.com
www.askchauntel.com

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

He Is Embarressed of Me

7th Grade Lisa writes:

Hello Chauntel,

Well, at school there is a guy int eh 8th grade but im in 7th and i really like him and we've gone out b4 btu we thought we were in the same grade, we broke up after we found that out and i think the only reason he broek up with me is that he is emberassed to date me! I was wondeirng that if you could umm maybe tell me how to talk to him or maybe tell me how to see why he's emberaased by me...

Hi Lisa,

At your age peer pressure is strong. It is best for you to leave him alone. You don't want to be with someone who is not proud to be with you. Your best off just letting him go. You will meet someone who appreciates you. He is not that one right now.

Thanks,

Chauntel
http://www.askchauntel.com
askchauntel@gmail.com

Friday, July 16, 2010

I Like This Girl In My Class What Should I do?

20-year-old Yue from California writes:

Hey Chauntel!


Basically, I would like to know what you make of this following scenario: I've been in class with this girl for five weeks now. OK, almost in every single class, she looks in my direction for at least 3-4 seconds then she looks away, but I pretend not to notice because I feel a bit awkward.

Most people would probably ask me, why haven't I asked her out yet:

She's always talking with another guy (maybe its just her friend, but the presence of that other guy makes it awkward for me and makes it feel like I'm butting in just to know her.) I dunno, maybe she's trying to stir jealousy in me, but seeing as how it's been five weeks maybe she doesn't get it?
I really don't know what to make of this.

She always leaves class pretty fast when its over, so I can't ever get a chance to talk with her.

So basically I want to know your opinion of what she's possibly thinking, and (how can see stare or look at me like that for 5 weeks, almost creepy, is that even normal for a girl? Or is there some psychological disease going on? But she's really really cute, and I want to give her the benefit of the doubt.) Also it would be great if you could provide me with some tips on how to approach this girl. How come if she thinks her hints are that obvious, she doesn't seem to even give me time to talk to her. I really wish I knew what she thinks about me. Sometimes I wish I could really just think like a girl.


Thanks and I hope that you can get a response to me before the class ends, because maybe she's really someone that I want to be with and she might feel the same about me, but its just that I didn't take that one extra little step to break the ice.

Hello Yue,

She seems as though she is old fashion and is waiting on you to make the first move. So make it!

She hurries away because she doesn't want it to be awkward, and this other guy whoever he is, is probably giving her hints on how to attract you.

Do both of you a favor, and just approach her. Introduce yourself and see if you can "study" with her. That way you will have time to spend around her. Make the study date at a coffee place. By her coffee..

If it goes well at the end of the coffee date ask for her number and a follow up date.

If she isn't interested you will know because she won't accept!

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel
www.askchauntel.com
askchauntel@gmail.com

My Bestfriend Took My Boyfriend What Should I do?

Listen to Chauntel's Audio Recording:
http://www.ustream.tv/recorded/8322548

Saturday, June 26, 2010

He is Not Claiming Me!

What is up with guys? Says one thing then another?

14-year-old Lala from California writes:

Hey Chauntel,

Okay so i had this guy tell me he likes me
and then a little after somehow some of my friends found out that he likes me then asked him infront of me infront of like 3million people then he simply said no.
then after that incident he sent two of his friends to ask me if i liked him and i said no since i was embarrased and sine he already said no
then when i was texting him
a WHILE after i asked him stuff like
" this guy is being a jerk but now his being nice just to get me to like him again, your a guy would you EVER do that to a girl?
and his words were,
if they ever messed up with a girl like you thats what any guy would do to get you to like him.
and i thought that he was definately sending the wrong signals
then as the conversation grew deeper he kept telling me how he'll always be there for me.
WHAT IS UP WITH HIM
?

Hello Lala!

It sounds like he is tryin to save face. Guys say one thing and do another for many different reasons. However, most of the time it is to avoid something.
In your particular situation it seems that he is giving into peer pressure. For whatever reason he doesn't want his friends to know that he is interested in you.
What does that mean for you? Run far away. This is a bad start off to a new relationship, and it is a recipe for disaster. Go find a guy who is proud to stand beside you and will hold his head up high when his friends ask about you.
He is not that guy!
I Hope This Helps!
Chauntel

Does He Still Like Me?

19-year-old Muggy from South Carolina writes:

Hey Chauntel,

My nickname is Muggy I live in SC and I am 19. I have a question to ask you. Me and my guy friend have been friends since the 12th grade and he liked me then. He has this nickname that he calls me. But now that we are in college ( not the same college)! He calls me and text me! And we tried to do longdistance relationship but it was so hurtful to where it aint work. So we are just friends again! I really like him! But I just dont understand that he now has a girlfriend but yet he still calls me and texts me! And he also teases me. HELP!!!!! Does he still like me?????

Hey Muggy,

Believe it or not, currently you are winning in this situation. I don't know all the ins and outs of your relationship.

However, it sounds like he really cares about you, he is just with her because she is there. At some point he may grow to fall in love with her so be ready for that.

To answer your specific question, yes he still likes you. But there is nothing you can do right now except keep your friendship alive. If it is meant for you both to be together then you will in time.

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel
www.askchauntel.com
askchauntel@gmail.com

Once A Cheater Always a Cheater?

14-year-old Heather writes:

I have a boyfriend who i went with awhile back in like..march and he cheated and i did to..but i loved him and about 3weeks ago we saw each other at a party exchanged numbers as friends and he texted me that night and we talked as friends then a few days later he texted again and we talked about our relationships we were both single and he was like well we should try again even though i know you maynot want to..so i simply said youhave comitment problems and he said not anymore so i thought about it and asked my friends they said i should try and see but i have other friends and they said i shouldnt..so i told him we can try but we have to have rules she we gave each rules so were together but he doesnt have a phone anymore so i only talk to him on the internet untill he gets a new phone but i feel he should call from someones phone and idk if he'll cheat again is it true once a cheater always a cheater?


Hello Heather,

Usually if you cheats once you will cheat again. However, in my opinion if you cheat once, it doesn't necessarily mean that you will absolutely cheat again.

In your case however, it doesn't seem to make since to be back with him until you all can both talk on the phone and have a relationship. You are only 14 now. The best thing to do in this situation is continue being friends with him and get to know him better for yourself.

Ultimately, you will have to make the decision if he is right for you. That will take getting to know him better. Take this time to build a frienship. That will make for a better relationship in the future if it is meant!

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel
www.askchauntel.com
askchauntel@gmail.com

Stop Making Excuses for Him!

22-year-Old Flowers writes:

Hey Chauntel

So i have watching almost all of your videos and you have some great advice!
so here we go:

I knew this guy since last year. We were in the exploration classes together year round. i hadnt liked him at the time but i have noticed i do like him..
Last year we would joke, make fun of each other and he would tell these random stories of me getting killed and stuff.

This year he came to our wood work class and was helping as a teacher assistant. He said hi to me and asked me if i remembered the sotried and said yes. Sometimes in the class he wouldnt say hi to me, and just ignore me some days. It made me go crazy! But some days he would help me with my prodject and one time i asked if he was busy and he said yes but helped me anyways.

After he helped me he asked if i needed anymore help and i said no, but when he watched me afterwards, he came back and helped me anyways. he helped me for the entire class too. Sometimes our hands would touch but he wouldnt move his hands. My friends say that he likes me just the way he looked at me and how he didnt help someone that long!

When we clean up in the wood shop he would come up to me and ask random questioons like whats for lunch and the teacher had just said what was for lunch...

I really like him and talk to him on faceook but he only replys a couple times. h does have an ipod touch so he doesnt alwasy see my message...
Anways does he like me?

Hi Flowers,

He just sounds like a nice guy. He doesn't sound like he is interested. If he was interested he would have showed more interest by now.

Lay off and focus your energy on continuing the search for the right guy. The bottom line is if a guy likes you he will take time for you. Stop making excuses for him!

If he isn't showing interest he isn't feelin it!

I Hope That Helps!

Chauntel
www.askchauntel.com
askchauntel@gmail.com

He Likes Me and My Friend Likes Him

Apple writes:

Hey Chauntel ,

I was wonderin if u could help me on a lil promblem i saw ur video on youtube. Ok well i have a bf and i didnt know my friend likes him and he really likes me but i dont want to hurt my friend cuz she liked he before me and now i feel bad cuz i feel like i am being a bad friend. i told him about it cuz it was bugging me. He doesnt want to lose me but i think that they would be alot better then me and him. And i really dont know what to do. It pains me to see her sad and it pains me to hear my bf to say im the best and he never wants to leave me. I feel torn into. Write back when you get a chance. thanks.

Hello Happy! You have to choose which is more important to you. The guy or the friendship? The relationship with him will probably only last a while, but your friendship could last a lifetime.
I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel

www.askchauntel.com

He Thinks I'm A Big Flirt

Angel writes:

iv benn having probems with a guy...iv like him for a long time and he knows i do..nd he says he likes me too.i can c that he does nd i feel it bt he jus doesnt want to be my bf..he says he doesnt want a gf bt last time he told me that he gt with this other girl wich he never hold or kissed..im scared of him cus hes the closest iv gotten to love.(i havent been in love)i dnt want to tho cuz im scared hes jus gunna hurt me agin..my friends all say that they cn tell he likes me bt then hes also a big time flurt..bt hes kind to me idk!!!!help


Hello Angel,

It is best that he is honest with you. You don't want to force a relationship with him. If he wants to be with you then great. If not don't try to make it happen because you will just be hurt in the long run.


I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel
www.askchauntel.com

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Guys Aren't Attracted to Me

14-Year-Old Katie from England writes:
I don't attract guys.its probably because i have really low self esteem and i struggle to talk to the ones i like.i've never had a boyfriend, occasionaly lads flirt with me a little but they tend to ignore me.i'm not the most popular in school but seriously, i'm not unpopular or anything.i do have really low self esteem which i think has escalated from they way people treat me and to be honest i've had enough, theres nothing wrong with me, i've just been through a stage where i thought i was the ugliest fattest bitch around, and the other day i just thoughtyou know what there is nothing wrong with me at all.i mean i'm no supermodel, but i ain't ugly.nor am i fat.i think its because i don't you know have a reputation for being easy en all. all the girls that the guys go for are in the 'crew' who lets just say get around. i'm not like that, i like to be mysterious en all, are lads just getting lazy and going for these sluts now?i don't think that even if lads in school liked me they wouldn't dare do anything about it at the risk of looking 'uncool' in front of all the rest of them because you know, it's not 'cool' to like me or something :S . outside of school lads look at me smile, wink whatever and things like that you know kind of got me thinking well maybe i'm not as ugly as i think i am.i'm a bit confused to be honest ^ can you not tell i don't think any of that made sense.but if it did, pleasee give me some advice on what you think i should do or what you thinks going on ectt..
Hi Katie,
Yes, I get the feeling that you are wise beyond your years. Honestly, you should not worry about attracting guys. I am sure you that you do attract guys; they just value your worth and have respect for you and are therefore not ready to approach you.
You are the kind of girl that guys don't just date, they marry. So take it as a compliment.
When the right guy comes along, you will know. In the meantime just focus on being the best you. There is plenty of time for dating.
I Hope This Helps!
Chauntel
www.askchauntel.com

I Don't Attract Guys

14-Year-Old Katie from England writes:

I don't attract guys.its probably because i have really low self esteem and i struggle to talk to the ones i like.i've never had a boyfriend, occasionaly lads flirt with me a little but they tend to ignore me.i'm not the most popular in school but seriously, i'm not unpopular or anything.i do have really low self esteem which i think has escalated from they way people treat me and to be honest i've had enough, theres nothing wrong with me, i've just been through a stage where i thought i was the ugliest fattest bitch around, and the other day i just thoughtyou know what there is nothing wrong with me at all.i mean i'm no supermodel, but i ain't ugly.nor am i fat.i think its because i don't you know have a reputation for being easy en all. all the girls that the guys go for are in the 'crew' who lets just say get around. i'm not like that, i like to be mysterious en all, are lads just getting lazy and going for these sluts now?i don't think that even if lads in school liked me they wouldn't dare do anything about it at the risk of looking 'uncool' in front of all the rest of them because you know, it's not 'cool' to like me or something :S . outside of school lads look at me smile, wink whatever and things like that you know kind of got me thinking well maybe i'm not as ugly as i think i am.i'm a bit confused to be honest ^ can you not tell i don't think any of that made sense.but if it did, pleasee give me some advice on what you think i should do or what you thinks going on ectt..

Hi Katie,

Yes, I get the feeling that you are wise beyond your years. Honestly, you should not worry about attracting guys. I am sure you that you do attract guys; they just value your worth and have respect for you and are therefore not ready to approach you.

You are the kind of girl that guys don't just date, they marry. So take it as a compliment.

When the right guy comes along, you will know. In the meantime just focus on being the best you. There is plenty of time for dating.

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel

www.askchauntel.com