Monday, September 20, 2010

Is She a Gold Digger?

33-year-old Mbezzy from Maryland writes:

Hey Chauntel,

I recently went through a breakup with a girl and it ended pretty rough. We met under not the best circumstances..I met her through a homeboy who already had sex with her. We both actually had sex with her during the same weekend we met. I really thought her and I had a connection, so I tried to overlook what had took place and build a relationship. Her and I are both 33. She has two kids and I have none. Another thing I tried to overlook was that fact that she had one of her baby's fathers living at home. She told me about this the first night we met too. She stated it was for financial reasons and he was moving out soon. I looked at it as her being upfront. Anyway we dated for about 5 months and things were pretty rocky. I never could trust her due to the fact she lived about a hour and half away & I could never actually see what was going on. I gave a lot of money too her during that time for rent, gas, clothes, shoes, trip to florida etc. I never thought something like this could happen to me but it did. So after about 3 attempts of breaking up we're finally done. She told me all this stuff was all in my head etc. My question to you is..does this seem like I was being played by her?


Hello Mbezzy!

Yes. You were being played by her. Infact you were her Suga Daddy! She used you. I am sorry to say, but hey we all learn from our mistakes.

When your in a relationship there has to be give and take. What you have here is all take.

I Hope This Helps!


Saturday, September 18, 2010

How do I ask out my coworker?

21-year-old Joe from Nevada writes:

Hey I have a Question, so there is this girl that I work with and I've had a crush on her ever since I started working there for about over a year, she doesn't know that I have a crush on her, I haven't told her or anyone of my co-workers, so how should I go about telling her how I feel about her and asking her out. I also hardly talk to her becasue I never know what to say and start a conversation, I am a very shy person, so it is difficult for me to do so. Can You Please Help Me? Thank You.

Hello Joe,

The best way to begin a relationship is through friendship. You can approach her and say something as simple as, "Hey, I am Joe. I have seen you around, but I really haven't gotten a chance to know you. How do you like it here?" Continue the conversation and end with "It was really great talking to you. I would like to get to know you better. Do you want to go out for coffee/ice cream sometime?" Wait for an answer. Then ask for the the number!

I Hope This Helps!


How to Tell Him I Don't Like Him?

14-year-old Doll writes:

Hey Chauntel!

This guy that i have been friends with forever just told me that he likes me. and i dont like him back. but i dont want to ruin our friendship. i also like this other guy who also likes me back. i told him i cant do anything right now because i am dealing with other problems but i dont want to loose him. HELP PLEASE! i watch all your videos and i follow ur advice and my social life has gotten alot better. please help me! thank you.

Hello Doll,

You should be honest but direct with your friend. If you don't like him he needs to know that. It's all in how you say it. Be gentle but be direct. If he isn't your friend after you are honest with him, then he never was your friend to begin with.

You don't want to miss out on any other opportunities like you have stated!

I Hope This Helps!


Friday, September 17, 2010

10 Most Common Reasons Couples Breakup

Hey Guys Check this out from!
I hope you like! - Chauntel

10 Most Common Reasons Couples Breakup

Relationships can be very complex so it can be tough to know when to call it quits. Every relationship and every person is different so each relationship is unique. But many relationships have some major problems and it can be a sign that either the relationship needs to end or some serious changes need to be made. But for most relationships there usually isn’t a quick fix and these end up being the top 10 reasons couples breakup.

1. Balance of Power
The balance of power is critical in a relationship. If each person in the relationship doesn’t have an equal amount of power then the relationship will most likely fail because by the time they notice the imbalance it’s too late to fix.

2. Cheating
One way to sabotage or end a relationship is by cheating, so just save the heartache and betrayal and end the relationship if it’s comes down to that.

3. Abusive or Controlling
If a partner is abusive or controlling that is a hard habit to break, and it’s going to take a lot of guts in order to leave the situation, so decide if trying to fix the relationship is worth it, because there are no guarantees it will get better.

4. Moved On
Sometimes a relationship can be good but it’s just not worth the effort anymore because either one or both parties have moved onto the next chapter in their life. This isn’t always a bad thing; occasionally it’s good for everyone involved.

5. Change
One of the most annoying things that someone can do is start a relationship based on the expectation that the other person is going to change. The relationship should be based on who the two people are at that time and not some unrealistic expectation on person has for the other.

6. Rude to Family and Friends
If a partner insults the other person’s friends or family then they probably aren’t the right person to be in a relationship with. Most people’s family and friends are a part of them so when a partner treats relatives and friends poorly it hurts their significant other, and this could be the cause of a breakup.

7. Clingy and Emotional
Nothing can drive away a partner like being clingy and emotional. Each partner needs to have time apart because if they spend all their time together they will quickly tire of each other and that will be the end of that couple.

8. Lying
Lying can be extremely hurtful and can ruin a good thing. If a person can’t trust their partner then they don’t have anything except a dysfunctional relationship that will most likely end. However, the question is when will it end?

9. Money
If a couple is stressed about money it can quickly become a major hurdle to overcome in a relationship. If one person isn’t contributing to the household and their life together, or the couple is in a lot of debt it can lead to resentment and ultimately a dead end relationship.

10. Fear of Commitment
If one partner is afraid of commitment and the other is not then a lot of patience is going to be required. Sometimes waiting works and sometimes it doesn’t so the partner that wants marriage or a commitment may have to end the relationship and look for someone else that is ready for a commitment.
Relationships are tricky and they require a lot of work and effort. Every relationship has its bumps and some can be overcome but others cannot. The majority of relationships that have ended are a result of the preceding 10 problems. So if your relationship doesn’t have any of these problems then it’s probably worth holding onto, but if it does then carefully consider whether to stay in the relationship or end it.

Diane Johnson graduated from the University of Utah and enjoys writing, particularly about travel and online classes.

Teen Internet Dating

15-year-old Butterfly writes

Hi Chauntel,

I met this guy online (he's legit, i made sure) and we've only been talking to each other for about 2 weeks now, but I am in love. Over the past two weeks, we've only gone one day without talking. A few times we've IMed each other for about 5 hours straight. Once, we stayed up talking until 3:38am! But suddenly he seems to have gotten less excited about our friendship. When we first started talking, he would end our conversation with something like "aww! i have to get off, sorry!" but now he just goes offline without saying anything. He also is spending more time talking to other girls. I know everything about him and he knows everything about me and I think that he may still be interested but I'm not sure. We have so much in common and have discussed all the important topics such as our future, if we want kids, what we want to be when we grow up, phiolosophy, politics, religion, music, literature, our family, drugs, alcohol, smoking, sex, friends and everything possibly imaginable! We have the same views on practically everything and are very compatable. I love him and think about him daily but I don't know if he feels the same way. I would love to just come out and tell him about how I feel, because I really trust him... but I worry that it might ruin our friendship. I also worry that the longer we take to further this relationship, the more opportunities other girls will get the change to have him. We live in different states but I am moving to his state within the year, so we would eventually be able to see each other.

Hello Butterfly,

I think you are too young to try to date a guy on the internet. Internet dating can be dangerous. You cannot be in love with someone who you haven't met. I would advise you to continue be friends, but don't make any meetings. You never know who might show up. It is not in your best interest. Get to know some of the guys at school!

I Hope This Helps!


Wednesday, September 15, 2010

How to Save My Relationship- Ask Chauntel- Relationship Advice-

Fashion's Night Out 2010

How to Talk to Women / Guys- Conversation Topics- Ask Chauntel

How to Flirt- Flirting 101- Dating Advice- Ask Chauntel

My Friend Is Depressed

Fred writes:

Hi there Chauntel,

My question is how can i help a woman friend who is facing bad times in her relationship. she is very in love with a man who sometimes ignore her. Thanks.

Hi Fred,

I think you are doing it! Just continue to be a friend to her. Remind her that she has people around her who love and care about her. Check on her, and make sure that she is getting out of bed and out doing things. Take her to the park. Remind her that she is beautiful. Make sure that she is active in a hobby or job. You don't want her to sit around in the house too much, she could go into depression if she spends too much time alone.

I Hope This Helps!


He Left After Our Anniversary

Lila writes:

Dear Chauntel,

I started seeing a guy last year October and things were great at the beginning, constantly smsing and phoning me till i brought up the fact that our anniversary was coming up and since then things went down hill!!!!!!

We started seeing each other while he was still in a relationship but, at that time he hadn't seen the girlfriend for two years due to her being overseas. At this time they were not in any contact so were only in a relationship in name only. December i tried to end the relationship due to him being in less contact with me, after me bringing up our anniversary and i was scared of getting hurt. He told me that he doesn't want to end things because he really likes me and his just not used to being in contact with the person his with all the time.

We then got back together and a month later, then i ended it and he agreed, because at this time he finally ended things with his ex and was not ready to get serious. In February he came to my house and asked me to please wait for him cause he really likes me but is not ready for a relationship. As much as i wanted to say YES ill wait for you, i said no.

Just recently we got back into contact and i told him that i cant keep going back and forth with him, that he needs to make up his mind about what he wants. He told me that he doesn't want to loose me and he wants us to be together but take it slow. That night i ended up sleeping over and we slept together. I didn't hear from him for 2 days and that's when i went to his house and told him that I'm done with us, we going to keep having the same problems and left. The next day i emailed him telling him how i felt about him and said everything i couldn't say face to face.
He now has a facebook account and still hasn't added me as a friend, so i guess i just want to know if we still stand a chance and where i should go from here?

Hey Lila!

No use in racking your brain love. This relationship was doomed from the start. This guy needs serious time to deal with his issues, and you jumped the gun!

You should not have started talking about anniversaries until you both agreed to be in a relationship.

He is not in the same place as you mentally so you are off to a bad start. No matter what you do you cannot make this work. He has to be on the same page. He is on page 1, and you are on page 50. It is time to close the book, and open a new one. You have read as far as you can read in this one without getting a paper cut.

In other words, you are waisting your time and creating more opportunities to be hurt if you stay in this. Let him go.

I Hope This Helps!

ABC's of College Dating

Hello Everyone!

Check out the ABC's of College Dating!

Here is the link:

Lots of Love!


Tuesday, September 14, 2010

He Lives in Germany and I Live In Chicago

17-year-old Ty from the US writes:

Hi Chauntel,

I think I'm in love I know I know you probably say "you can't but I am... But I hate it! I'm in this foreign exchange program with chicago/germany I'm going to germany in October, in january I started to email everyone who were in the exchange but this person who I didn't email, emailed me. His name is Tom, he's from Germany. But since january we talked all the time (email) everyday but oi began to have feelings for him the 1st week of April, he came to chicago in the middle of April, I really didn't know how he looked, but I didn't care.. When I finally saw him he was handsome to me for those whole 2 weeks we hung out , played jokes with eachother, he would sing to me, and flirt with me. I loved it! The day before he left my friend told him that I liked him, he said it was "too late" I said "too late for what" she didn't know.. So I didn't talk to him for a month until june we talked but it wasn't the same like the months before, so now when he emails me I just wait for days because I don't want to get my hopes up, and I know that it could never be an us because he lives in Germany and I live in chicago. But what should I do? Should I tell him how I feel when I visit him in Germany? Or forget about the whole thing?

Hi Ty!

Regardless of the fact that he lives in Germany and you live in Chicago, you should tell him how you feel! Continue to keep in touch with him, and when you visit Germany definetly let him know how you feel, but keep your options open. It may or may not work out with him, and you do not want to limit yourself especially since he lives so far. However, the possibilities are endless and he just might share the same feelings as you, but be prepared if he does not!

I Hope This Helps!


Thursday, September 9, 2010

Date An Older Guy?

13-year-old Christel writes:

Hey Chauntel,

I just started highschool and I like this guy who's a year older than me and I never had a boyfriend in my life. I don't know if I should ask him out because I'm afraid people will make fun of me. Also is it a good idea to go out with a guy who's older than you?

Hi Christel,

Girls should not ask guys out! So no let him do the asking. The key is friendship which equals flirting which equals the chance at a relationship! Check out My video! It should help!

I Like Three Girls!

20-year-old Mike from California writes:
Dear Chauntel,
I have a big problem and i need your advice. ok here it goes i like three different girls and they all like me and i have to choose but i can't, please help me.

Hi Mike,
You should date them until you find out who is best for you. Just be honest in letting them know that you are dating and not in a relationship.
I Hope This Helps!