Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Perfect Setting for A First Kiss

14-year-old Hopeless Romantic writes:

Hey Chauntel!

I am brainstorming for a novella I am trying to write, and of course, It wouldn't be a romance without a first kiss. I don't mean to be invasive, but I was wondering what you first kiss was like, and what your favorite setting is for a kiss. I tend to lean towards the sweet and funny romantic scenes, but seeing as I haven't had my first kiss yet, I don't really have any personal experiences.

by navigatingnorth.com
Hello Hopeless Romantic!

The best place, is more about the best time. Where you are is not as important as how you feel.
However, any outdoor setting or couch setting would be nice. Steer clear from bedrooms though because they could lead to unwanted occurrences.

Romantic settings are of course the beach or anywhere near water. A drive in movie in the car is always cute. Holding hands in the park on a starry night is another great idea. Exotic places, near a fireplace, or even under the doorstep could also work.

I hope that helps,


Wednesday, June 17, 2009

My Mom Won't Let Me Date

13-year-old LadyLove from London writes:

I'm not sure if I should ask this guy out anyway but I quite want too just to sort out my feelings, But my mom is always insisting that I can't have one till I'm 16/17 and I want to be able to have a romantic relationship with someone, I mean I'm a straight A student and my room is pin neat!

by http://madamenoire.com/
Hello LadyLove,

Your best bet here is to talk to your mother. You don't want to sneak behind her back. That creates trust issues, and that is not worth it. You have you whole life to talk to guys. Don't rush it enjoy these few years until then.

I suggest that you begin talking to guys on a dating level without actually dating. This will give you insight into how they think. Which will in turn give you an upper hand on girls who will be clueless as to how guys operate. Most of these girls will consequently get their heart broken at 16. IF your mom won't let you date, then don't date just "talk" to guys.

Trust this way you will be ahead of the game, and avoid a lot of unnecessary drama in couple of years.

Don't rush things, just relax and keep your mom on your good side (: She will come around.

I hope this helps,


He is Too Young and I Miss Him

15-year-old Ali from New Zealand writes:

Hi Chauntel,

There is this guy i like alot actually but he is 12, i know i shouldnt like guys that are that younger than me! i have tried to forget about him and move on, but he lives near me but he is moving away at the end of the month(im really going to miss him) we are good friends but we do always end up fighting and calling each other names...alot of the time... during the summer we were really close,we talked to each other all day,playing football..etc we would spend much of the night texting each other it was fun i liked it! but when summer ended it all stopped...and i miss it... we also go to the same school he never talks to me at school yet i always see him looking over at me at the lockers he is usually with really pretty girls laughing with them! also i try to forget about him and i keep saying to myself he is too young for me and to move on! i have liked other guys before and gotten over them but i just cant to forget him! its driving me mad..lol it would be great if you could give some guide lines on what to do...thanks

Hello Ali!

Don't worry about the so called "pretty girls" because when a guy really cares about you it doesn't matter who else is around you when he sees you.

As far as your age goes, there are plenty of people together that are years apart so that is normal. However, realize girls mature faster than guys especially as teenagers. Keep in mind that once you turn 18, you don't want to get caught up in this until he is of age.

Ok so the next time he stares at you wave, and see how he reacts. If he waves back then go over to him and start up a conversation.

If you have been friends for so long he should understand that you miss him. Tell him how you feel, because he may be afraid to come forward. However, before you do this prepare yourself for rejection, because he may not feel the same way.

However, you never know unless you ask.

I hope this helps,


Tuesday, June 16, 2009

How to Let A Guy Know You're Not Interested & Get Out of The Friend Zone

18-year-old Shannon from New York writes:

Hi Chauntel,

I have two questions.

One is How do I get out of the friend zone? I have a crush on my guy friend. Do guys even classify women like that?

Also, How do I get rid of unwanted attention from men? Is there some way I could deal with the situation that will make it clear to them I'm not interested and be straightforward but not unkind?

Thank you very much.

Hello Shannon,

To Answer Your First Question:

Yes men do classify their women. Ask any guy he will tell you.

To get out out of the friend zone you have to transition into flirting. The way he responds to you will give you a clue on whether or not he is interested. If his body language is receptive then proceed to furthering this into spending time together outside of your normal work/school setting.

Suggest a time you could go out together. Make it casual at first like: "Let's get some Pinkberry or Starbucks one day." See if he responds positively, like "Sure sounds great!" or if he negatively reacts with something like, "Well I'm really kinda busy."

If he seems interested go for it! If not don't worry about it! No skin off your back. You don't look bad, and you can keep it pushin!

If he does seem interested start hangin out with him on your down time. You are a lady so let him take it from there. If he is shy then simply have a conversation with him about it, and if your hang outs ends with a kiss then you have definitely made that transition.

To Answer Your Second Question:

The reality is if you are a pretty woman you will always get unwanted attention from men. You can cut down on the amount of attention you receive from them by the way you dress, and the way you interact with them. If you are very friendly naturally they may take that as flirtatious.

As I have said in my videos, guys don't get hints! Therefore, if you are not interested in the guy you are going to have to come right out and tell him that, but you have the right idea you can be nice about it if he "isn't getting it."

A few key phrases to let him know that you are not interested are:

"I see you as a friend."
"I don't see you in that way, but we can still be cool."
"I am not looking for a relationship right now."
"I value our friendship to heavily to take that next step, so let's stay friends."

So take your pick. Personalize these phrases to make them your own. IF HE STILL DOESN'T GET IT YOU JUST HAVE TO TELL HIM LIKE IT IS GAL, but good for you that you are trying to let him down easy! (:

I hope this helps!