Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Vote

You can now vote on my blog. I will issue a question to you, and you give an answer. Vote Vote Vote!

Should I Move In With My Boyfriend?

17-year-old Damsel from Australia writes

Me and my boyfriend have been dating for three months now, and lately we have been talking about moving out together. My boyfriend is 20, living at home and has a job. Our relationship is good, and most of the time we communicate very well and off course I do love him .The house I'm living in at the moment with my mum is being sold in two months, so before me and my boyfriend decided to move out together I was already thinking about moving out by myself or with a friend. Do you think its to early for me and him to take a step like this? I also don't know how to bring it up in a conversation with him! , would you have any tips?


Hello Damsel,

It is way to early girl!
You are definitely right about that. That's all you have to say to him. There really is no need for further explanation.

You are not ready for this in this state of your relationship, you are still getting to know each other. I would agree with your decision of moving in with your friend. He will understand.

Simply tell him that it would not be wise to do this at such an early state of your relationship. He will understand. If he doesn't there is something wrong with that picture, and that would cause for me to be worried about his intentions.


I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel
askchauntel@gmail.com
www.askchauntel.com


Where Do I Find an Independent Woman?

26-year-old Bill from Ohio writes,

Hi Chauntel,

Ok. Where do I find a good looking, intelligent, open-minded, independent, strong-willed girl that won't depend on me to "make her happy" or keep her entertained 24/7 and how do I approach her? I would also like ther to understand that I have a life, responsibilities and need time just to myself. :) Thanks alot!

by macsmiles.com
Hello Bill,

You are very wise in the way you are seeking this woman out. It is important for the two people in the relationship to have a "life" outside of their relationship.

I don't mean people need to live double lives...haha.. What I mean is it is important for the two people to have their independence in order for them to be good for each other when they are together.

There is not a specific place that you meet this girl physically. However, mentally she must meet you.

How will you find a girl who will meet you mentally? You need to find a girl with a passion. If she is passionate about something she will understand that you need time to yourself because she will need time to herself as well, as she seeks and fulfills her passion.

Where will you find this girl? Most likely in a working environment and maybe even online. Now don't get me wrong it also possible to meet her in a bar, at a party, at a friends house, etc. but there are much better places for you to visit that will help you find what you are looking for.

Although, as I said before it is about meeting her mentally. Try seeking this "woman" out in some type of work environment or on a college campus. This way you know she has a drive to get somewhere or do something productive with her life. If she is working or going to school it means she is driven.

If you meet a girl at a bar it's alittle tougher to determine if she is particualarly passionate about something productive.

Also, online is a great option for you. Some of the people who create online dating accounts do so because they are so tied up with doing other things they really can't find much time to date. However, it is still important to them. Therefore, they put it on their "to do list," so to speak, and they go online for dating!

You need an independent woman who wants to incorporate you into her life.

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel

askchauntel@gmail.com
www.askchauntel.com

How do I dress like a Rocker Chick and Still be a Trendsetter?

Maggs writes:

Heyyy Chauntel,

I saw your fashion video and I agree with a lot of the things but I am a "rocker chick". I dress in the emo/scene/punk/goth/rocker/sk8r/etc. style and I wear A LOT of mini skirts, colourful/bright/graphic tees and patterned tights. I love converse and sk8 shoes and combat boots but I still want to be some what fashionable. Can you gimme advice on this?





















Hello Maggs,

It's all about the accessories you choose.

Add a trendy item to your style. For example although graphic tees are already "in" if you add a scarf with it that will make it trendy.

Mini skirts are in so you are good with that.

Since you like boots. Try more trendy types. For example fringes are in this season. So you could choose boots that have fringes.

Chunky jewelry is also in! If you grab some chunky jewelry and add it to your wardrobe for the summer season!

You don't have to change your style to be trendy. It's all about what accessories you choose to jazz up your wardrobe.
I hope this helps,

Chauntel

askchauntel@gmail.com
www.askchauntel.com



Wednesday, July 8, 2009

How Do I Get My Dad to Let Me Date?

13-year-old Victoria from California writes:

Hi Chauntel My dad is way over protective and this guy im dating his name is Shinee. and this Wednesday is the last day of school and im scared ill never see him again! because my dad wont let me go out on a date so if you can help. i would really appreciate it!

by blogmagazine.org
Hello Victoria,

So truly you really have to find a way to get to your dad. I'm sure your daddy's little girl so this should not be hard for you (:

Explain to your dad all the reasons why he should let you go out. Don't use the word DATE. That will only scare him away.

Let him know that you are a responsible young lady, and that you understand his rules and regulations. Let him know that you will not overstep your boundaries.

Let him know that you are not looking to have sex with this guy you just like each other. And don't lie to your dad be honest when you say these things. The last thing you want to do is loose your dad's trust.

Let him know how imperative it is for you to begin talking to guys. Let him know you are not looking to get married, but in order to get to know how guys think to keep yourself from getting hurt in the future you need to start learning how guys operate.

Make him feel guilty by saying things like, "But dad you don't trust me? I'm being upfront and honest with you. Please show me that you trust and care about me, I won't let you down."

Make the hang out places and times appropriate for your age, especially when you are talking to your dad about why he should let you go.

For your your age, appropriate places could be a park, coffee shop, ice cream shop, or the mall for instance.

So lay it all out to him as a responsible adult. If dad still doesn't let up, you will just have to wait until he is willing to let you date, and the guy has to understand. Don't give up though keep at it, and eventually good old dad will give you a chance.

I hope this helps,
Chauntel
www.askchauntel.com
askchauntel@gmail.com

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

How do I Mask My Emotions?

Emotionally Challenged from Reynoldsburg, Ohio writes:

Dear Chauntel,

I need to learn how to mask my emotions. People sometimes say that i look like I'm about to cry, and when I get embarrassed, I blush. I don't like that people always seem to know what i am thinking. Apparently, I have certain facial expressions for everything. It is really annoying, and I need help! Do you have any advice?

Hello Emotionally Challenged,

Embrace your ability to show your emotions. It is much better to express yourself then to keep your emotions hidden all together. There is a beauty in being open and honest, most people are not.

However, I do understand your frustration. This is who you are, but you can do things to make yourself feel more comfortable in these types of social situations.

I would suggest taking yourself out of positions where you will have to expose your emotions.

Before you get emotional walk away, or turn your head. Distract yourself with something instead of giving a reaction. (ie. open your purse and look for something, begin to fix your hair, look at your nails)

Learn to control the facial expressions you use. Practice a "straight face" in the mirror, or simply smile to mask your emotions.

However, honesty is always the best policy and there is nothing wrong with being real about how you feel, so don't worry about it too much.

I hope that helps,
Chauntel
askchauntel@gmail.com

www.askchauntel.com