Tuesday, August 30, 2011

I Am In an Abusive Long Distance Relationship, What do I do?

15-year-old Lindsy writes:
Hey chauntel,
I've been in a long distance relationship for a year now. At first, everything started great, the first 5 or 6 months were all I could ever ask for and everyday I kept falling more and more in love. But torwards the end of the 6th month, things started getting messy. We started fighting a lot and all of the things we were fighting about were stupid. We eventually took a break for about 2 weeks and I tried to see other people but in the back of my mind I always thought about him. We started talking again on our anniversary and we started skyping yesterday. But ever since we started talking again I feel like he is using me. He constantly is trying to make me do things that I don't want to do. I'm a classy girl and he doesn't respect me for that. He told me today that he doesn't want our relationship anymore because I won't please him in the way that he needs to be pleased. I want to beg for him back but then again I want to break apart because during the whole six months that we were fighting he was really abusive. He would sY the meanest things to me and then come running back and guilt trip me into staying with him. I feel like I'm in a prison and I have no way to get out, but half the time I don't ever want to get out. I'm trapped in a relationship where I'm verbally abused and I still love the guy. My friends tell me that I'm probably just in love with what he says to me not him but it's the other way around, I'm in love with him not what he says to me. Sometimes he says the sweetest things to me, but isn't that supposed to be all the time? I need advice, should I stay in the relationship and fight for him and try to make it work again like it did before or should I get out?

Hello Lindsy,
Although, I am a strong believer in love, and the possibility of a long distance relationship working this one is not healthy. You are only 15-years-old and you are already being verbally abused. It is time for you to walk away from this situation. This guy isn't any good for you.
No human being deserves to be abused whether verbally or physically. The times he says the sweet things are to keep you there on his string. There is a guy who will be a gentlemen and not force you to do things that you don't want to do. Eventually the type of guy that you have will break your spirit and you will begin to see yourself doing things that you do not agree with just to keep him. Let him go....You DESERVE BETTER.
Also, watch this video:

Saturday, August 27, 2011

He Deleted Me Off of Facebook

15-year-old Katie from Canada writes:

Hey Chauntel!

I really need your help!

I met this guy in my summer school class and I thoughjt he was cute so I started texting him, we started talking and getting along good, we have been talking for around 3 weeks now and we got along really well. Today I was talking to him and asked him if he wanned to hang out tommorl and he said yes, after we planed it all out he just stoped talking to me and I went on facebook a few hours later to see if he was online and he deleted me off of facebook. Please help me! I was starting to really like him and I really all most started to cry when I saw he deleted me!

Hi Katie,

He isn't interested. I am sorry he made you cry. Look at it this way atleast he let you know earlier on instead of getting more hurt later. There will be another guy, trust.

All The Best,


When Do I Know I am Ready to Date?

Angel writes:

Hey Chauntel,

I'm christian and 14 years old i want to do gods will. how do i know when im ready to date?

Hi Angel,

I am so blessed by your question. When God places a young man in your life who is kind to you, and proves himself to be a gentleman that is when you will know.
You don't have to rush into anything. Take your time you have plenty of time to date. Just make sure that you are aware of your parents wishes for you, and you pray for God's direction.
He will guide you.
God Bless,


He Asked For Sex and I said No

Jasmine writes:

Chauntel, we met a week ago and had the first date. The date went awesome! We clicked and had a lot in common. He texted me the first 3 days. I never texted him at all. Then on tuesday this week, I texted him and just said hey. He texted me a few hours later back ( because he was busy working ) and said can I see you again. So when it was time, he came over and at that time I was cooking lunch. And I fed him. LOL. He loved it. ( I hope. ) Then a few moments later, we talked and all and we started tickeling each other. Then he started to kiss me and we made out. He asked if I wanted sex and I said no. Not today. ( Because I made a promise to my self no more sex till marriage, or until it's a really long relationship or if the guy is really serious. ) And two days later, there is no text from him. So, do you think I should text him? Or wait another day then text him?

Hi Jasmine,

First of all good for you for standing for your morals and rights as a woman. Don't text him he is only looking to get into your pants. If he is interested he will text you. In the meantime look for a guy who is worth feeding...there are plenty of guys who would jump at the opportunity.

All The Best,


Sunday, August 14, 2011

She Doesn't Feel Appreciated

Lisa writes:

Well Chauntel, I face a really hard issue Me and my boyfriend are going on 2 years. He is 18 and I'm going on 16. We don't see each other alot mostly b/c when i'm 16 is when i'll get the freedom to see him. I really Love him with all my heart. But recently i sent him an email about how i've been feeling. Basically saying I have alot of doubt about our realtionship and don't know if we should be together. I also told him i don't feel appreciated and he doesn't do sweet things for me. He just acts like I'l be here forever. And i won't I love him Chauntel like wholeheartedly but if he's not willing to work things out i'm going to have to leave him. He will always be my 1st love and my friend BUtI just really don't know if our relationship will last. SHould i try to work things out and stick it out, B/c I don't wanna loose a good thing. Ya know? but i also don't wanna waste time and regret my decision later on down the road. What should I do? And Is he the One for me like i feel he is?

Hello Lisa,

Thank you for sharing your story. If you don't feel appreciated you deserve better. However, you will have to make the final decision.

All The Best,


He Said I Am Pretty

12-year-old Robot Girl writes:

Hi Chauntel!

First I would like to say I love your videos! My nickname is Robot Girl, I am 12 years old and I am from New York. I have known this guy ever since we were in the same class in second grade and we have been through a lot. He had been SUPER nice to me and was always worried about me so, I thought he liked me. We hang out all the time and he is still SUPER nice to me. I asked him if he liked me and he said he thought I was pretty but he didn't answer the question. My friends helped by trying to mix me into the talk and he never said anything but "I think she is really pretty." How do I see if he likes me if all he says is you are pretty?

Hi Robot Girl,

Well pretty is a start. The best thing you can do in this situation is be friends with him until he is ready to pursue something with you. You all are both young. Give it time.

All the Best,