Friday, December 17, 2010

Ask Chauntel Diary Entry

Hello Everyone,

I am sitting here enjoying my laughy-taffy.

And I am stoked because I will be introducing the blog to all new Ask Chauntel Avatars. That way I can give an expression when I give an answer with my blog posts.

Thank God school is over for this semester. I am planning to redesign

If you have any exciting ideas please let me know. I would like to utilize them!

BTW I attatched my Merry Christmas Ask Chauntel Avatar!

Well that is all for now!


Tuesday, December 14, 2010

10 Things Women Want Most From Their Man

Hello Ask Chauntel Readers!

This article was sent to me. Here is the link:

10 Things Women Want Most From Their Man

For many men, what women want from a relationship with a man remains a mystery. Often times, even after many years of marriage, the husband will still confess his confusion as too what his wife expects or desires from him as her mate. Men and women, generally speaking, communicate in very different ways. Therein lies the core to the problem. She says one thing and he interprets it differently. In the following listing, we will try to communicate those things women most want from the men in their lives in terms that can be easily translated by those of the male gender.

Tell her she’s sexy. Pay attention to the wording here. We didn’t use the word beautiful, gorgeous or pretty (although those are words women also like to hear). A woman wants to know that her man finds her sexually attractive. Anyone, male or female, could tell her she’s beautiful but if her husband or boyfriend really wants to make her glow, he’ll tell her how ‘hot’ she looks.
Provide a empathetic ear. One of the common mistakes a man can make is when the woman begins telling him about something that is upsetting her or concerns her. Often times, the man assumes that she is sharing this information with him in a desire for him to provide her advice or solutions to the problem. However, the woman is usually not looking for or wanting his advice. What she is wanting is empathy. It is therapeutic for her to simply talk through the situation with someone willing to listen and empathize with her concerns.

Give her a helping hand. Whether it’s helping clean up the house for company, helping get the kids ready for school or washing her car for her, providing a helping hand when she is stressed out with too much to do, will always be appreciated. Quickly assisting when she asks is a good thing but if you want to earn even more brownie points, offer to help BEFORE she asks.
Pride in her accomplishments. Tell her you’re proud of her accomplishments. Whether it’s her cooking talents, her achievements at work, her natural talents of creativity or her parenting, let her know that you’ve noticed. And don’t forget: a little bragging on her in the midst of friends and family for these accomplishments and talents will emphasize the sincerity of your praise.
Give a gift of your time. This may seem like a no-brainer, but it is actually one of the desires of a woman that is most easily overlooked. Taking a walk together, watching a movie together or accompanying her on a errand, communicates your enjoyment of her company. When you choose to give up your own plans to be with her, it can further reinforce that message of appreciation for her company.

Strength of Character. A woman wants a man she can respect for his strength of character. Jerks are a dime a dozen. She wants the man she’s with to be someone who is respected by others for his honorable qualities. When a woman sees a man treating other people with respect and courtesy, he will gain her respect as well.

Treat her as an equal. The mistakes men make in this area can be found in two opposite directions. Some men treat women as ‘helpless females’ and assume they need to be taken care of like a father taking care of his daughter. Other men go to the other extreme and expect the woman to tell him what he should or should not do, filling a motherly role. Most women don’t want to fill either of those roles. They want to be an equal partner, not someone following behind or leading the way.

Thoughtful surprises. Again, pay attention to the wording here. The keyword is ‘thoughtful’. If she loves last minute guests, then, by all means, surprise her by bringing friends home for dinner. If this ‘surprise’ would be added stress for her at the end of the day, then surprising her with a dinner out might be more along the ‘thoughtful’ lines. If you’re not sure about a surprise you are planning, give her friends or sisters a call. Ask their advice. If they truly care about her, they’ll let you know if you’re on the right track. If you’re not, they might be able to give you some good ideas.

Physical affection. We’re not talking about sex here. Sex is generally thought of as beyond the realm of mere affection. What we are talking about is putting your arm around her, holding her hand or kissing her. Those simple light touches communicate very strongly to a woman’s heart.
Pay attention to details. Women want their men to notice the small things about them that make the statement, “I know her well.” Do you know what kind of restaurants she likes? Does she like roses or would she prefer a mixed flower bouquet? What is her favorite drink at the coffee shop? Noticing these little things communicate value to a woman’s heart.

The differences between men and women go beyond the physical to the emotional and relational areas of their lives. Learning to take a woman’s perspective into consideration can take a man a long way towards strengthening or improving his relationship with the woman in his life.

10 Great Reasons to Use Dating Websites

Hello Ask Chauntel Readers!
Here is a great article that was sent to me! Check it out.
Here is the link:
10 Great Reasons to Use Dating Websites
Dating has always been done in a variety of ways, with dating services offering a great deal of assistance in the difficult venture. Although you may be well aware of who it is that you are looking for and what you want out of a partner, it can still be difficult to manage your time around finding the perfect someone to share your life with. Many times, you will continue to go through the dating scene as you find that you are constantly let down, which is a common peril of dating, no matter how you pursue it. Well, nowadays, dating websites are increasing your chances of finding that special someone to establish a relationship with, eliminating a great deal of the disappointment and pain that comes with most other forms of dating. Much like physical dating, there are many methods online with sites that will offer matching, blind dating, and even speed dating services, offering 10 great reasons to use dating websites.

Match-making on a higher level. When you take on dating by yourself, you will often find that the match-making is left up to you, and based on very little. With dating websites, you are given a higher level of matchmaking, ensuring that the most important elements are considered when you are matched with singles.

Singles find you. The search for the right one is over with online dating as you are able to post a great profile about yourself and allow the singles to find you based on what you have posted. Instead of having to go through singles yourself, you can allow others to spark up a chat or a relationship based on what they see about you that they like.

Avoiding rejection. When you utilize dating websites, you don’t have to try your hand at a relationship only to be rejected. Instead, you are able to go through the internet to find someone special, allowing you to avoid the rejection that is so common within the physical dating world.
Getting to know someone before you meet. How many times have you tried a blind date only to find yourself uncomfortable and unaware of what to expect from the other person. In some cases this can even be a little scary if you aren’t sure who you are really with. With dating websites, you are able to get to know a lot more about the other person before taking on the date itself.
Finding out if someone is really interested. Meeting people physically and taking on the dating process can be a bit difficult mostly because you never know if the other person is interested in you for you or your image. With dating websites, you are able to feel more confident that others are interested in you as a person and not just what they see or who you hang out with.
Less expensive risk. When it comes to dating, you can very easily lose a great deal of money going in on a date that just doesn’t pan out. Whether the date isn’t interested in you, or vice versa, it means a loss of the money you put in, making website dating a more cost-efficient way to meet new people.

Broader range of people. With online dating, you are getting access to singles all over your locality, as well as the surrounding areas, or maybe even an area you are interested in moving into. You don’t have to find those that are out in the clubs or bars late night, as the dating scene is brought right to you with the broadest range of singles anywhere.
No commitment dating. When you date physically, you will find that it is more difficult to cancel out or decide that you just aren’t interested in the other person. With dating websites, you are given the ability to choose who you want to chat with and when, not having to make any commitments or even having to talk to anyone you aren’t interested in.

Confidentiality is a plus. Although you are giving out personal information about yourself, you don’t have to risk giving out details that could lead to any further annoyance, such as giving out your address or personal phone number. Instead you can feel confident that all your most important information is kept safe and that no one finds out any close information about you.
Dating on your schedule. With work, school, or any other obligations creating a strict schedule within your day, you often don’t have time to get away and venture with dating. Using dating websites, however, you are able to date on your own schedule, never having to extend your schedule to meet singles.

Dating online is a more convenient and safer method of dating in today’s world, giving you a little help where it is needed most. Even the most successful and good-looking people need a little help when it comes to dating, and these dating websites ensure that you are able to take on the process successfully and with the best foot forward.

Saturday, December 4, 2010

He Dumped Me for His X

18-year-old Cali Girl writes:

Hey Chauntel,

In my college class we watched a video of you based on picking a major. Well i like how u give out the advice on love fashion and many more. Well i wanted to ask u a question based on relationships, i am 17 and will be turning 18 n the 24th of this month. When i was a cheerleader in high school my senior yr. i would go often to trader joe's with my mom, i would notice a cashier there and he would notice me too, finally one day after a game my friend took me to see him at trader joe's, i gave him my number because i figured he couldn't say anything to me since he was always working. Well we started tlking he called me and stuff things we were going ok, for bout 3 months then his ex-gf came around and well she told him to stop talking to me. First i gave him a picture of me in my cheer uniform and he had it up on his wall in his room, and when his ex gf came into his house to pick up some stuff she had left around. She saw the picture and took it with her, recently about three weeks ago she called him and told him not to tlk to me, so he called me on the 4th of november and told me he couldn't tlk to me because he did not want to deal with the drama of having her yelling at him all the time. So basically becasue of her he stopped tlking to me. He said bye and ill see u around, since then ive been very confused and i have no idea what to do. I like him alot, we shared so many cool moments, we never dated but he did come to the point where he said i love you, so i guess i felt special then. idk what to do? what do u think?
he also happens to be 25 and his ex. gf is about 23 .
please help me, i get tempted to call him but idk what to do plz help.

Hey Cali Girl,

You never want to be second best. In this case to him you are. Don't allow him to make you his rebound. I figure him and her might end up together again. It is better that he was honest with you now. I know you like him, but its in your best interest to let him deal with her. There is a another guy who will make you his number 1!

I Hope This Helps!


Wednesday, December 1, 2010

He Wants Me to Move in With Him

18-year-old Bally from the UK writes:


I need some advice its about guyswell im seeing somebody he says its serious tellin me to move in with himtells me he loves but when he sets a day 2 c me he cancels he done it many times considering he does work but he done it the other day but he never returned my calls or replyed 2 my texts its been a whole day i feel like i have to leave him but its so hard dont kno what 2 do with myself xxx :)He says he wants to be serious. been with him 6 months known 4 longer than that.

Hello Bally,

Relationships do not get easier, they get harder. If he is already pressuring you and it has only been a few months imagine how your life will be a few years from now. You are young, fresh, and vibrant! He is already showing signs of flakey, not good. Flakey behavior only gets worse. This is your time to explore and find out who you are and where you want to be in life.

I am all about finding love, but if he was in love he would have asked you to marry him, not to move in with him. Him saying he wants to be serious is just a cop-out. You being there all the time will just make it easier for him. He can have you take care of him, and get what he wants from you physically more often.

I am not buying it. Not yet, it is way too soon. No shacking up, meaning no moving in with a man until you are married. Tell him if he is this serious about you he will wait until he marries you to move in. If he cannot do that then he is just feeding you a line. Don't bite because it might get caught in your lip. Recipe for disaster.

Here is a video I made similar to your question. Watch:

I Hope This Helps!


How Do I Get Her to Like Me?

Zach from Kentucky writes:

Hello Chauntel,

First of all i have to say i love ur vids i spent over 3 hours watching them and i subbed theres this girl her name is kimberly she is very beautiful and ive liked her for 2 years im a freshman in high school and i need your advice please i really like her shes a girl any guy could love and i certantly am not the greatest looking guy but my friends tell me im more than average im good but not great so i hope i didnt annoy u with such a long message but plz help me out btw if i was your age i would chase after you cause your very smart in your decision making process and you just know how to talk to people my name is zach im white but it doesnt matter cause i certantly am not racist my best friends are cheeks malachi savion and evan see ya.

Hi Zach,

Thank you so much for taking time to watch so many of my videos! That means a lot!

Here is a video that I posted awhile back that is very similar to your question. Watch:

They Joke About My Bra Size

Tensi from the USA writes:

Dear Ask Chauntel,

My name is Tensi and I'm in the 10th grade.I've never had a boyfriend before or kissed a guy. I like this guy but there's a problem. He sits really close to me and i sometimes catch him staring at me. He has this friend and he's always saying how ugly i am and that im a nerd. The guy I like does not say anything back he just listens. One time i was helping this boy and he got all mad at the guy and was saying some crazy stuff. Not that long ago hes friend was telling him how he only likes white girls(I'm black) and he asked him if he did too. He said yea. His fruend why do you keep staring at her she ugly and if you want that I dont know what to tell you. Another time I had a tight shirt on and they was having a argument saying ohh shes a A cup and the guy I like was like no shes a B. Haha. When I see him in the hallway he always stops and seems like he asking people if they know me or something. One time he was walking down the hallway and i was eating lunch on a bench. He started staring at me and i started laughing he looked away and then he looked back again.I do not know what to do should I say something or should I wait on him. This has been going on for months. Do you think he likes me?

Hi Tensi,

No, I don't think he likes you. If a guy likes you he makes that apparent. Guys don't get hints so they don't give hints either. Regardless, this guy is SORRY with a capital S. If he had any wits about him he would have stood up for you. It is time for a new crush. Lets refocus our attention.

I Hope This Helps!


My Friend Gets All of the Guys Attention

14-year-old Anonymous from Canada writes:

Dear Chauntel,

First off I want to start by saying I really love your videos and you give great advice.

One of my best friends that goes to school with me is very pretty and I feel like because of that people like her more espiecally boys. Whenever we walk down the hall together people always stare at her and not at me. I don't feel very pretty and confident. I dont know what to do if I should tell her how I feel and how to be confident in myself. During the second week of school at least 5 guys claimed that they liked her or thought she was hot and pretty. I am really frustrated angry and jealous of her. I need your advice I don't know what to do.

Hello Anonymous,

I encourage you to stop worrying about the attention your friend is getting. I want you to refocus your energy on appreciating the beautiful person that God has made you. Beauty can be seen on the outside, but it is what is on the inside that attracts people. Whenever you begin having those negative thoughts about your friend I want you to think about all the reasons that are not physical that make her beautiful. I then want you to think about all the unique and beautiful things that make you, you. Attention from guys will come, and go. It may seem like a very important thing to you right now, but you will soon learn that just because a guy has the hots for you does not mean that he will respect or treat you right. Don't rush this, in due time you will meet a guy who will love in you inside and out. I can assume that you may possibly be feeling this way because you may be seeking attention from your parents that you have been lacking. Not to worry my dear, you are going through puberty. Your body is going through a lot of changes, but this too shall pass!

Watch this video:

I Hope This Helps!


How to Talk to Women- Conversation Topics- Ask Chauntel

15-year-old Amber from Canada writes:

Hi Chauntel,

I currently like this friend of mine, hes very interesting and artistic we talk alot and i feel that we connect. Some of his friends are also mine as well. I just want to know what can i do for him to share more about him and ask more questions about me as well. BTW ...we also have alot in common as well ....and i love that we do. :D

Hello Amber!

This video should help: