Tuesday, March 30, 2010

3 Years- Then a Break-up

18-year-old Maggy writes:

Hello Chauntel,

I found your videos on youtube and I like the advice you give and I need a bit of relationship advice. I am 18 and have been with my boyfriend for 3 years, we have been through a lot together and absolutely adore each other. We see each other every day and I love that so much and I thought he did too until yesterday he told me that he needs space to think about everything. He said that he has been really stressed lately and it's hard to maintain this relationship so he wants a little break from me. He says he wants 3 weeks to decompress and this is stressing me out. I don't know what to do. Does this mean he isn't happy with me? I have never gone through this before and I don't know what to do.

I am also worried about something else, he has a lot of insecurities that have hindered out relationship in the past but we always work through them. Whenever he feels insecure he hangs out with his old friends. THese people do a lot of drugs and party way too much.Whenever he hangs out with these people they drag him down and he makes poor decisions that don't fit his character. My boyfriend is in college and very intelligent but keeps going back to these losers. How can I help show him that they are dragging him down? Please help I'm lost. Thanks!

Hello Maggy,

He truly owes you more of an explanation as to why he needs this time apart. It sounds a little fishy to me.

Is there another girl in the picture?

This doesn't sound like a guy who is well grounded. I would be careful about continuing to pursue a relationship with him. If he is making poor choices now, what will he do in the future? You will have to decide if he is a trustworthy person.

My advice to you, is to sit down with him, and find out why he needs this time apart. Once you have that understanding, give him what he is asking for. At the point where he wants to work it out, you will have to decide if you want to continue this relationship.

Stay Strong,




Black Hair Twists

17-year-old Jazzy from the US writes:

My bangs are all frizzy. my mom is Guatemalan and my dad is from Africa. so my hair is really hard to tame. i don't want to put a weave in because the last time i did it damaged my hair like BADLY. its also hard straighten it. it just looks weird and greasy and its all damaged. the relaxer doesn't help at all. i love my hair when its curly, its just soo pretty! but when i put moose in it, it looks pretty at first, but when its like dry it looks all short! its just horrible! i want it to be curly! and when i have gym 5th period i have to go the whole rest of the day with frizzy bangs! i just want my hair to look pretty even after gym, throughout the school day and maybe for the weekend. please help! :]THANK YOU SOOO MUCH FOR YOUR HELP!

Hello Jazzy,

I completely understand. Hair, especially black hair can be difficult to deal with. Since you have naturally curly hair, sport it. The natural look is in. One thing you might want to consider is twists. You can do this by buying afro-textured hair.

If you allow your natural hair to breathe, and get a professional trim, to cut your split ends, your hair will become more healthy. Putting a lot of heat in your hair can damage it. Make sure that your hair stays moist. Dry hair is more likely to break. Also, drinking water and taking vitamins will help your hair to become healthy.

By monitoring your nails and skin you can monitior the healthiness of your hair. So sport that natural look girl. Don't worry about it looking short. It is yours! However, if you get twists you can add the hair to make it longer. By the way, to keep it up make sure to wrap it with a scarf before you go to bed!

You can either go with your natural look, or try something different by trying the twists. I have actually considred getting twists myself. We will see how that goes!

I hope That Helps!


Don't Pressure Him

21-Year-Old Kay from Alabama writes:

I watched your video on how to turn a best friend into a boyfriend.. I have a best friend we are so much alike, i have told him how i feel already.. i asked him if it freaked him out and he said no it was sweet.

We see each other every night, txt all day and go out to eat and to the movies sometimes and he pays, we have intimate conversations, we talk about marriage and kids, i know more about him than i do myself..lol friends at church talk about us getting married and things, but when i tell him how i feel he never really responds.. the first time i told him was not long after we first met, he had just broke up with someone but he just said he dont want to rush into things, he does like me but just wants to stay friends for now...so now its been like 5 months.. idk how to get a response from him. Its almost like if he is not the one for me, idk who in the heck is cause we fit perfectly together and my whole family loves him, and im the only girl his dad has ever likes.. so do you think you could help?

Hello Kay,

Guys don't like to feel pressured. I think he may like you, but more than anything he is getting pressured, from you, from people at church, and even from his family.

He may be interested in you, but he is letting you know that he is not ready for a relationship with you. He just isn't ready to settle down yet. I mean you all are still young adults. He is aware of how you feel, so continue being friends with him, and keep having fun.


Keep your options open. Date other guys.

Time will tell, but whatever you do don't pressure him. If you do you may push him away.

I Hope This Helps!


Why Men and Women Cheat- Ask Chauntel

Ask Chauntel Diary Entry

Hey guys,

So, I have yet to write a blog where I am simply talking to you. So here is my first Diary entry.

I am getting ready to sort through emails. My favorite part is seeing the subscribers emails.

I get all types of emails. Here is my dilema. I want to read every question, but that is impossible. People write long emails without paragraphs, and that can make it difficult for me to read. However, I am not complaining...I appreciate every email. They bring a smile to my face. It amazes me everyday that people take their time out to write to me.

However, I am a paragraph girl what can I say...

Anywaz, I don't know how often I will do these, but I thought it may be a way for you all to get to know me a bit better.

Right now I am watching Millionare Matchmaker. I love that show! I would love to have a show on VH1.

Tata for Now....I'm off to answering questions. askchauntel@gmail.com