Sunday, September 1, 2013

Ask Chauntel Blog Has Migrated

Hey Guys!

I have been trying to hold onto this blog, as I have had it for almost 5 years. However, earlier this summer I started a new blog. Doing the exact same thing, just using another platform.

So, I think I am going to go ahead and migrate completely over to

If you would like to see new posts from me as well as new videos follow my new blog:

New Blog

What are you waiting for? Go check it out!!

Thursday, August 22, 2013

3 Ways To Avoid Online Dating CatFish

imagery majestic black girl
by imagery majestic
The world of Online Dating is growing and growing with over 40 million men and women looking for love. It provides an opportunity for many individuals to meet who would not otherwise have had the opportunity to interact with one another.
Catfish are individuals who create a false identity by pretending to be someone that they are not online, many times they do this to pursue online romances.
Here are 3 ways to Avoid a Catfish
1. Find Their Facebook: If they do not have any social media or if their social media does not have photos of them you should be sceptical. Take a look at their photos and their friends. If they have photos with other individuals who are not tagged in the photos that should raise a red flag. Also, if the individual has fewer than 100 friends you should also be cautious.
2. Use the Phone: Have a voice conversation on the phone with the individual that you met online. Communicating through email and text messages alone is not enough.
3. Use the Webcam: The best way avoid dating a catfish is get them to show their face. With new FREE technologies like Skype and Google Hangouts there is no reason why your online lover wouldn't be able to show their face. If they don't have a webcam they can buy one for less than $40.
Email questions to

Monday, August 19, 2013

I Want Out of My Relationship

Darrah writes,

Hi Chauntel!

I've had dreams about me kissing my friend,  but I've got a boyfriend. I do feel for my friend, but not in a love way. It's happened a couple of times and maybe its because I've been unsure.

If I want to break up with him because I never see him, and he's not good at the long distance thing. I live in Aberdare in Wales, and he lives in Newport about and hour and 45 minute drive so can you give me any help.

Hi Darrah,

When you dream it's your unconscious coming to light. However, conscious or not you have already made it clear that you are ready to let go of your boyfriend.

The distance doesn't make this any easier. There is no need to drag this out, whether or not you have feelings for your friend, if you want to let go of the realtionship you are in then you have to be brave and do it.

It is not fair to either you or your boyfriend to stay in this relationship if you do not have true feelings for him. So you have to be honest with him, and let him know how you feel, honestly and truly. You can do it. Just pick the appropriate place and time. I hope that you can do this in person. Try to wait until you see him before you break the news.

I Hope This Helps!

Email questions to

Friday, August 9, 2013

I’m a Big Dude…How Do I Attract a Good Woman?

25-year-old Donald from Mississippi writes:
Hi Chauntel,
I’m a big dude, and I wanted to know how to attract a good woman? I’m so tired of being alone I’m ready 4 a family. I want to be a provider.
Hi Donald,
If you are ready for a family then, it is time for you to begin to take hold of your life. Pursuing a relationship in your frame of mind is unhealthy.
Before, you begin courting a woman and looking to build a family with her, you are going to have to find confidence in yourself.
So, you need to be confident in who you are before I would recommend that you begin pursuing a relationship.
What does this mean?
Your weight is not the problem, it’s your criticalness of yourself that is going to hold you back. If you don’t like the size that you are, and it is effecting your ability to be confident in who you are, then you need to begin making wiser decisions when it comes to eating right and exercising. This doesn’t mean starve yourself, or be at the gym non-stop.
In fact, in means just the opposite. You need to make a plan for your physical health. For your life, and the life of your future family. Get with a nutritionist who can help map this out for you.
When you begin feeling comfortable with yourself, then we can begin to think about what you need to pursue a long lasting relationship, but it seems to me that you aren’t quite ready.
Going into a long term committed relationship when you are so down on yourself will not be a healthy situation for you or your future spouse. I am glad that you want to begin making positive changes in your life, that is great, but we need to prepare you for those changes.
Be encouraged, it is not all about how you look. The woman is going to eventually look past that once she begins to see who you are. But in this case, you don’t feel comfortable with yourself, and I am not ready to advise you into a relationship until that changes.
Feel free to take advantage of my free 15-minute-coaching session by using the coaching coupon. 
When we get you mentally ready for a relationship after first establishing a love for yourself then we address the second part of your question. You dig?
Be Blessed
email questions to

Saturday, August 3, 2013

I'm Scared to Tell Him That I Like Him

7th Grade Allie from Kansas writes:
Dear Chauntel,
The teacher calls us love birds in gym class. We have a friendship, but now should I do? I am scared to ask him out. What should I do?
Hi Allie,
Nothing good comes easy. Love is worth the risk so, you have to get past the fear and let him know that you are interested.
Tell him that you appreciate his friendship, but that you are interested in getting to know him better. See if he is also interested in getting to know you better. If he says yes, then great go get yo’ man. If he says no, then it’s ok you can still be friends.
I Hope This Helps!
email questions to

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

If she Has a Boyfriend...Should I Tell Her I Like Her?

21-year-old J from Flordia writes:
 Dear Ask Chauntel,

 My name is Jermaine and I have an interest in my coworker at work. She and I have been friends for over two years and I enjoy her company very much. Yet she is very quiet and reserve most of the time, but she loves when I come over and talk to her. I have been liking her for a very long time, but I haven't told her yet because I wasn't sure if she was the right girl for me. She asked me at work did I have a girlfriend and I told her not right now. I asked her the same question and she said she didn't either, but that she was talking to someone right now. I even walked her to her car when it was time for her leave work. Chauntel I want to know:should I pursue a relationship with her even if she is talking to someone else? Just by her asking me the question: do I have girlfriend?, is that a sign she likes me right now? Look forward to your reply thanks!!!

Hello J!

If she is not in a committed relationship she is fair gain. If you don't tell her how you feel while there is still time, you will regret this. So, here is my advice.

Put your reservations aside and let her know how you feel. Her asking you if you have a girlfriend is a good sign, but it is not a tale-tale sign that she likes you. She may have just been curious and wanted to learn more about you.

She isn't married, so you better let her know while you still can. When the wedding bells start ringing guess what? Times up. So go for it! Don't rest on your laurels. If you don't tell her how you feel, you will always wonder. You dig?

Once, you let her know how you feel it's up to her. Respect her relationship if she is in one. Meaning don't try to kiss her or anything just have a conversation, and let her know how you feel. If she doesn't reciprocate, or isn't ready to let go of her current situation, just continue to be her friend. If it is meant to be the opportunity will present itself again.

I Hope This Helps!

email questions to

Monday, July 15, 2013

How To Make a Friend a Boyfriend

7th grader Allie from Kansas writes:
Hi Chauntel,
Ok well I have a good friendship with this guy, and I am 2 afraid 2 ask him out.  Everyone says that he likes me, but i am so afraid that he will say no. What should i do? Please help me!!!!!!
by Stock Images
Hi Allie,
Well, you have already followed my advice and took the first step which is building a friendship with him. I am so proud of you!
Now what you have to do is gather the courage within yourself to ask him out.
I know this is a scary thing to do, but love is worth the risk. If he says no, it will be ok. It will hurt a little, but after you get through the pain you will be glad you did it because it will give you piece of mind to know one way or the other.
But you also have to consider the benefits of him saying yes, you will finally have a chance at love with your crush.
When you start off the conversation just let him know how you are glad that you all have become friends. You can then explain why if you like, but you don't have to. Then let him know that you are interested in getting to know him as more than friends, and you were wondering if he felt the same way. Wait for his response. (This is the hard part.)
Then, if he says he'd rather stay friends, take it like a champ. Smile and say ok, and let him know that you understand and that you are glad you can still be friends.
If he says yes, then go girl! Good for you.

I Hope This Helps!
email questions to