Friday, April 17, 2009

How do I Make My Friend my Boyfriend?

14-year-old Ali from New York writes:

Dear Chauntel,

Hey! My name is Ali and I live in NY. I've been having some boy troubles lately. There's this guy who I've known my whole life and he's really sweet. Our families have always been close friends so he's practically like a brother to me. But now that we're getting older I'm starting to look at him in a different way and honestly I kind of like him. He just turned 16 and is in the 10th grade, I'm 14 and in the 8th grade. He's so nice. Every time I see him he always gives me a big hug. Even if he's all sweaty from a basketball game or something like that, I can always count on that hug. And he's always telling me, and his friends, how he can't wait until I'm in the high school with him. That no guy will be allowed to hit on me and that he won't allow me to date any guy he doesn't approve of. On top of all that I went over to his house a few days ago and ending up watching a movie with him and his family, along with some other friends. I was laying on the ground and he was sitting on the couch. He put his feet on me and started messaging my back, very subtle though. If this were coming from any other guy I would definitely take it that he likes me, but because I've known him so long I not sure if he's just acting brotherly.

So these are my questions for you. . .
1. How do I know if he likes me?
2. What can I do to let him know I'm into him without being obvious?
3. What kind of things can I do that would spark his interest in me?
Thank you so so much for taking the time to read this. I appreciate it a lot.

Hello Ali,

It sounds like you really like him. He's a lucky guy. The truth is the only way to know is to ask. However, I realize that you may not want him to know that you like him, unless you know that he likes you.

So how can you let him know without being too obvious? Flirt subtly with him, and see how he reacts to you.

How might you do this? Here are a few questions you can ask him:

“Are you interested in anyone right now?”
“Can you ever see me as more than your friend?”
“What would you do if I told you that I though you were cute?”

You should phrase these in your own words, because he knows you, and he'll know if your “reading a script” so to speak.

Make sure you watch his reaction to these types of questions. Take note of not only his verbal response, but also clue in on his body language.

As far as sparking his interest in you. I figure he probably already knows if he likes you buy now. BUT it never hurts to look cute when you see him. Smell good! All tricks of the trade!

Additional Comments:
Before you do anything make sure you ready. He may not like you, and you have to prepare yourself for that. However, there is a possibility that he does. Just don't get your hopes up!

I Hope this Helps!