Sunday, June 20, 2010

How Honest is Too Honest?

32-Year-Old Mark from Arizona writes:

Hello Chauntel,

I've seen several of your YouTube videos and had a few questions of my own. There was a situation in college I was wondering about. In my Psychology of Sexuality class, there was a woman who seemed attracted to me despite the fact that she had already mentioned in class that she has a boyfriend. I wasn't attracted, so I simply didn't pay attention to her hoping she would take the non-verbal cues, yet it simply made her more determined it seemed. She would stare at me in class, to the point where I would catch her in the act. Before class while waiting outside the classroom, she would get close to me and stare at me, yet not say anything, which made for a strange situation. One time, she actually followed me to my next class, and brushed against me while walking past me, which was a blatant signal for me to pay attention to her. I don't understand why a woman who had already said she had a boyfriend would be pursuing me in this manner. Why is she this determined to get my attention when I've made it clear that I'm not interested? I'm a direct person and I have no problem telling someone I'm not attracted, yet without any actual communication it's not really appropriate for me to take her aside to explain all of this. She's knows what she's doing, so me pointing it out is kind of redundant, but it's annoying. In your opinion, does she want sex or just attention or something else entirely? Also, how much honesty is too much honesty? I'm a very real person and I don't sugarcoat things, so when people ask me questions I give them the real, which can be brutal at times. In terms of women, is it good to be completely honest or hold some things back? I have no issue approaching women and talking to them, but I wonder if I come across as too dominant and scaring them off. I'm what you'd call a dominant type guy, not necessarily a nice guy, though, so any advice would be appreciated.

Hi Mark,

She may not have been happy within her relationship and was looking for something new. She may have been lieing about the relationship as well. It's best to be honest with her if the opportunity presented itself. Since she was not picking up on non verbal codes you shouldn't sugarcode.Believe it or not, women like when men are firm. It makes us have more faith in the man. We feel more safe. So, don't worry about being too dominant. You seem like a nice guy, just be who you are!

I Hope This Helps!


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