Tuesday, March 30, 2010

3 Years- Then a Break-up

18-year-old Maggy writes:

Hello Chauntel,

I found your videos on youtube and I like the advice you give and I need a bit of relationship advice. I am 18 and have been with my boyfriend for 3 years, we have been through a lot together and absolutely adore each other. We see each other every day and I love that so much and I thought he did too until yesterday he told me that he needs space to think about everything. He said that he has been really stressed lately and it's hard to maintain this relationship so he wants a little break from me. He says he wants 3 weeks to decompress and this is stressing me out. I don't know what to do. Does this mean he isn't happy with me? I have never gone through this before and I don't know what to do.

I am also worried about something else, he has a lot of insecurities that have hindered out relationship in the past but we always work through them. Whenever he feels insecure he hangs out with his old friends. THese people do a lot of drugs and party way too much.Whenever he hangs out with these people they drag him down and he makes poor decisions that don't fit his character. My boyfriend is in college and very intelligent but keeps going back to these losers. How can I help show him that they are dragging him down? Please help I'm lost. Thanks!

Hello Maggy,

He truly owes you more of an explanation as to why he needs this time apart. It sounds a little fishy to me.

Is there another girl in the picture?

This doesn't sound like a guy who is well grounded. I would be careful about continuing to pursue a relationship with him. If he is making poor choices now, what will he do in the future? You will have to decide if he is a trustworthy person.

My advice to you, is to sit down with him, and find out why he needs this time apart. Once you have that understanding, give him what he is asking for. At the point where he wants to work it out, you will have to decide if you want to continue this relationship.

Stay Strong,




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