Friday, August 28, 2009

How Do I Let Him Down Easy?

16-year-old AJ from Nevada writes:

Hey Chauntel!

I really enjoy your videos and your blog! You give great advice thats fun to read.
Anywho, on to my actual problem. I've been talking to this guy from the other town pretty frequently for a month or two now, and I'm about 99% sure he likes me. And I thought I liked him too. We've hung out and been on a couple dates. He's really nice and cute and sweet. But the last time we hung out, my friends were pressuring me to kiss him or hold his hand or something. I didn't, but it made me realize that I didn't really want to. I have no romantic feelings for this boy. But I have no idea how to tell him. I refuse to be a heartbreaker. He doesn't deserve it, and theres really no reason that I shouldn't like him. I also kind of like his friend, but I know that now after I've had this little fling with him, its impossible to be with his friend because I dont want to ruin their friendship. This whole thing is just so delicate! I need your help!

Oh, it also might help to know that I haven't ever had a relationship and this is the first guy to show interest in having a relationship with me.

Thanks so much!

Hello AJ!

Thanks so much for your support! I am so proud of you for realizing your limits. You are being true to yourself, and I applaud you for that.

The reality is as much as you try you cannot prevent his heart from being broken at this point. We date to see if we are interested in someone; that is what it's all about so you shouldn't feel bad for dating him and finding that you are not interested.

If he puts pressure on you, or tries to make you feel bad about your decision to be friends, he is not the kind of guy you want to be with anyway.

Don't get into a relationship until you are ready. Talk to your friends privately, and let them know that you would like for them to lay off when you are around him because you are not interested. If they are truly your friends they will respect your decision.

And you are right! You do not want to get involved with his friend. That will complicate things more, and will surely break his heart.Tell him that you have enjoyed getting to know him, but that you don't see him in a romantic way. It won't be easy, but it's better than you prolonging this thing and leading him on. You seem very mature! You can handle this, TRUST.

I Hope This Helps!


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