Tuesday, July 2, 2013

My Boyfriend Doesn't Trust Me

Hawa writes: Hey Chauntel So heres the deal, my boyfriend broke up with me 3 weeks ago. I cried my eyes out when he did. He said we fought too much and that the respect was gone.. because i got mad at him one day and took his card and used money on it, he got mad at me for that and said he could ot trust me again. I think that helped make his choice of breaking up much easier. The day we broke up he told me that i meant alot to him and that i would always had a place in his heart. one week later.. i was just sitting in my room, he suddenly called me, asking ” can i pick you up, and than we can go over to my house” , ” I love you “, and I miss you. But than i came to realize he was drunk.. so i knew he had been to a party and i was afraid that he had been doing something with someone else, so i was crying my eyes out on the phone but i tried to be strong. he kept asking me if everything was ok. 30 minutes later he showed up at my house telling me how much he loves me and i am the most important person to him, and ill always be his girl..he for the first time said “I LOVE YOU” I was shocked. did not know if i should be happy or sad, the fact that he said it when he was drunk. I invited him in.. he slept till the next day. I thounght he didn’t remember anything, but when he woke up he said he remembered everything. Then he left he asked me if i wanted to join the beach later with him. I said yes, but that did not happen because when he went home he slept and later his friends came over, and the weather was not very good soo. It sound like he was having fun when i called him, it kills me inside to know that his is having fun and i am the one hurting. Am i selfish for feeling like that… 2 days later i called him and he was going to a party again.. he parties almost every weekend these days, he never did that when we where together. I was the one doing the partying. So the fact that hes out having fun makes me think hes missed doing “fun things”, and that hes trying to get over me faster than he should, that hurts me. We talked for 5 minutes and he had to go, i said to him that i love him, and he said he loved me too. since than i have not spoken to him about.. the night him came to my place… i mean should i ask him if he ment ” i LOVE YOU” I dont know what to do .. i cry my self to sleep almost every night. I love him and i want to be with him. Why cant everything between us be dealt with… isn’t that how love is suppose to be… Hello Hawa, No, this is not how love is suppose to be. The main issue that you all are having in your relationship is you all don’t have trust. A solid relationship is built on trust and good communication. He does not trust you, and you do not trust him. Yes, it is selfish of you to not want him to go out and have fun, but it is only normal for you to feel that way. You don’t want him to go on without you and the thought of that hurts. This relationship is unstable and it cannot continue this way. If you want this to work you too are going Ro have to build trust in your relationship. I Hope This Helps! Chauntel Www.askchauntel.com Askchauntel@gmail.com

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