Tuesday, June 16, 2009

How to Let A Guy Know You're Not Interested & Get Out of The Friend Zone

18-year-old Shannon from New York writes:

Hi Chauntel,

I have two questions.

One is How do I get out of the friend zone? I have a crush on my guy friend. Do guys even classify women like that?

Also, How do I get rid of unwanted attention from men? Is there some way I could deal with the situation that will make it clear to them I'm not interested and be straightforward but not unkind?

Thank you very much.

Hello Shannon,

To Answer Your First Question:

Yes men do classify their women. Ask any guy he will tell you.

To get out out of the friend zone you have to transition into flirting. The way he responds to you will give you a clue on whether or not he is interested. If his body language is receptive then proceed to furthering this into spending time together outside of your normal work/school setting.

Suggest a time you could go out together. Make it casual at first like: "Let's get some Pinkberry or Starbucks one day." See if he responds positively, like "Sure sounds great!" or if he negatively reacts with something like, "Well I'm really kinda busy."

If he seems interested go for it! If not don't worry about it! No skin off your back. You don't look bad, and you can keep it pushin!

If he does seem interested start hangin out with him on your down time. You are a lady so let him take it from there. If he is shy then simply have a conversation with him about it, and if your hang outs ends with a kiss then you have definitely made that transition.

To Answer Your Second Question:

The reality is if you are a pretty woman you will always get unwanted attention from men. You can cut down on the amount of attention you receive from them by the way you dress, and the way you interact with them. If you are very friendly naturally they may take that as flirtatious.

As I have said in my videos, guys don't get hints! Therefore, if you are not interested in the guy you are going to have to come right out and tell him that, but you have the right idea you can be nice about it if he "isn't getting it."

A few key phrases to let him know that you are not interested are:

"I see you as a friend."
"I don't see you in that way, but we can still be cool."
"I am not looking for a relationship right now."
"I value our friendship to heavily to take that next step, so let's stay friends."

So take your pick. Personalize these phrases to make them your own. IF HE STILL DOESN'T GET IT YOU JUST HAVE TO TELL HIM LIKE IT IS GAL, but good for you that you are trying to let him down easy! (:

I hope this helps!



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