I Am A Virgin & I Don't Want to Have Sex Until Marriage - Dating Advice - Ask Chauntel

16-year-old Ginny writes

Hey Chauntel,

Ive been watching your videos for a while now and i think you give great advice.

My problem is i want a boyfriend but dont want to have sex. Im waiting for marriage. It seems impossible to find someone who doesnt want sex at all. I'm fairly attractive and use to model . So when guys  hit on me i know its cause of my looks and i know that they want more than i want from the relationship.  How do i find someone to date ( long term) without doing it?

I know im still young but ive met alot of guys and they all seem to have a common end goal if you know what i mean. Am i going to have to wait forever?  Please help me.

Hi Ginny,

Thank you so much for your support. I really want to encourage you to stay on your path. It may seem hard, and it may even seem impossible, but I am a living witness that it is not.

The reason that you have to deal with the phenom of, feeling like it is "normal" to have sex before marriage is because over the past few decades our society has made seem it that way. There are so many girls out there who are "giving it up" for one reason or another. They are mostly doing it because they do not have enough self respect to hold back, and others just want to secure the guy.

Let me be the first to tell you that sex does not secure anything. It does not "keep a man". It may "get the man," but that is temporary. 

Please, please, please, do not settle. You will regret it without a doubt. Sex for girls is much more emotional than it is for guys. Guys can do it without thinking much about it. Now, not all guys are that way, but most are.

Also, your first time should be special, and with someone you love. Contrary to popular belief when you have sex for the first time it is painful, and a lot of girls who end up pregnant or with an STD or AIDs, do so because they are unexperienced.

I want you to stop thinking of sex as a way to get a guy; it is not. You want your first time to be with someone who loves and respects you. 

Staying a virgin until marriage is taboo in our society, but it should not be. Viewing your body as a Temple of God, will help to keep you. If you are serious about this, you need to make sure that you are not putting yourself in situations where you will be tempted for sex to happen.

I waited until marriage, and there are not a lot of girls who can say that, but stick to your morals values you will be so glad you did.

Also, here is a scripture from the Bible 1 Corinthians 6: 18-20

Glorify God in Body and Spirit

¹⁸ Flee sexual immorality. Every sin that a man does is outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality sins against his own body. ¹⁹ Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? ²⁰ For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body^[c] and in your spirit, which are God’s.

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel

askchauntel@gmail.com

www.askchauntel.com