He Left After Our Anniversary

Lila writes:

Dear Chauntel,

I started seeing a guy last year October and things were great at the beginning, constantly smsing and phoning me till i brought up the fact that our anniversary was coming up and since then things went down hill!!!!!!

We started seeing each other while he was still in a relationship but, at that time he hadn't seen the girlfriend for two years due to her being overseas. At this time they were not in any contact so were only in a relationship in name only. December i tried to end the relationship due to him being in less contact with me, after me bringing up our anniversary and i was scared of getting hurt. He told me that he doesn't want to end things because he really likes me and his just not used to being in contact with the person his with all the time.

We then got back together and a month later, then i ended it and he agreed, because at this time he finally ended things with his ex and was not ready to get serious. In February he came to my house and asked me to please wait for him cause he really likes me but is not ready for a relationship. As much as i wanted to say YES ill wait for you, i said no.

Just recently we got back into contact and i told him that i cant keep going back and forth with him, that he needs to make up his mind about what he wants. He told me that he doesn't want to loose me and he wants us to be together but take it slow. That night i ended up sleeping over and we slept together. I didn't hear from him for 2 days and that's when i went to his house and told him that I'm done with us, we going to keep having the same problems and left. The next day i emailed him telling him how i felt about him and said everything i couldn't say face to face.
He now has a facebook account and still hasn't added me as a friend, so i guess i just want to know if we still stand a chance and where i should go from here?

Hey Lila!

No use in racking your brain love. This relationship was doomed from the start. This guy needs serious time to deal with his issues, and you jumped the gun!

You should not have started talking about anniversaries until you both agreed to be in a relationship.

He is not in the same place as you mentally so you are off to a bad start. No matter what you do you cannot make this work. He has to be on the same page. He is on page 1, and you are on page 50. It is time to close the book, and open a new one. You have read as far as you can read in this one without getting a paper cut.

In other words, you are waisting your time and creating more opportunities to be hurt if you stay in this. Let him go.

I Hope This Helps!
Chauntel
http://www.askchauntel.com/
askchauntel@gmail.com