I Am In an Abusive Long Distance Relationship, What do I do?

15-year-old Lindsy writes:

Hey chauntel,

I've been in a long distance relationship for a year now. At first, everything started great, the first 5 or 6 months were all I could ever ask for and everyday I kept falling more and more in love. But torwards the end of the 6th month, things started getting messy. We started fighting a lot and all of the things we were fighting about were stupid. We eventually took a break for about 2 weeks and I tried to see other people but in the back of my mind I always thought about him. We started talking again on our anniversary and we started skyping yesterday. But ever since we started talking again I feel like he is using me. He constantly is trying to make me do things that I don't want to do. I'm a classy girl and he doesn't respect me for that. He told me today that he doesn't want our relationship anymore because I won't please him in the way that he needs to be pleased. I want to beg for him back but then again I want to break apart because during the whole six months that we were fighting he was really abusive. He would sY the meanest things to me and then come running back and guilt trip me into staying with him. I feel like I'm in a prison and I have no way to get out, but half the time I don't ever want to get out. I'm trapped in a relationship where I'm verbally abused and I still love the guy. My friends tell me that I'm probably just in love with what he says to me not him but it's the other way around, I'm in love with him not what he says to me. Sometimes he says the sweetest things to me, but isn't that supposed to be all the time? I need advice, should I stay in the relationship and fight for him and try to make it work again like it did before or should I get out?

Hello Lindsy,

Although, I am a strong believer in love, and the possibility of a long distance relationship working this one is not healthy. You are only 15-years-old and you are already being verbally abused. It is time for you to walk away from this situation. This guy isn't any good for you.

No human being deserves to be abused whether verbally or physically. The times he says the sweet things are to keep you there on his string. There is a guy who will be a gentlemen and not force you to do things that you don't want to do. Eventually the type of guy that you have will break your spirit and you will begin to see yourself doing things that you do not agree with just to keep him. Let him go....You DESERVE BETTER.

Also, watch this video:

He Deleted Me Off of Facebook

15-year-old Katie from Canada writes:

Hey Chauntel!

I really need your help!

I met this guy in my summer school class and I thoughjt he was cute so I started texting him, we started talking and getting along good, we have been talking for around 3 weeks now and we got along really well. Today I was talking to him and asked him if he wanned to hang out tommorl and he said yes, after we planed it all out he just stoped talking to me and I went on facebook a few hours later to see if he was online and he deleted me off of facebook. Please help me! I was starting to really like him and I really all most started to cry when I saw he deleted me!

Hi Katie,

He isn't interested. I am sorry he made you cry. Look at it this way atleast he let you know earlier on instead of getting more hurt later. There will be another guy, trust.

All The Best,

Chauntel

askchauntel@gmail.com

www.askchauntel.com

When Do I Know I am Ready to Date?

Angel writes:

Hey Chauntel,

I'm christian and 14 years old i want to do gods will. how do i know when im ready to date?

Hi Angel,

I am so blessed by your question. When God places a young man in your life who is kind to you, and proves himself to be a gentleman that is when you will know.

You don't have to rush into anything. Take your time you have plenty of time to date. Just make sure that you are aware of your parents wishes for you, and you pray for God's direction.

He will guide you.

God Bless,

Chauntel

askchauntel@gmail.com

www.askchauntel.com

He Asked For Sex and I said No

Jasmine writes:

Chauntel, we met a week ago and had the first date. The date went awesome! We clicked and had a lot in common. He texted me the first 3 days. I never texted him at all. Then on tuesday this week, I texted him and just said hey. He texted me a few hours later back ( because he was busy working ) and said can I see you again. So when it was time, he came over and at that time I was cooking lunch. And I fed him. LOL. He loved it. ( I hope. ) Then a few moments later, we talked and all and we started tickeling each other. Then he started to kiss me and we made out. He asked if I wanted sex and I said no. Not today. ( Because I made a promise to my self no more sex till marriage, or until it's a really long relationship or if the guy is really serious. ) And two days later, there is no text from him. So, do you think I should text him? Or wait another day then text him?

Hi Jasmine,

First of all good for you for standing for your morals and rights as a woman. Don't text him he is only looking to get into your pants. If he is interested he will text you. In the meantime look for a guy who is worth feeding...there are plenty of guys who would jump at the opportunity.

All The Best,

Chauntel

askchauntel@gmail.com

www.askchauntel.com

She Doesn't Feel Appreciated

Lisa writes:

Well Chauntel, I face a really hard issue Me and my boyfriend are going on 2 years. He is 18 and I'm going on 16. We don't see each other alot mostly b/c when i'm 16 is when i'll get the freedom to see him. I really Love him with all my heart. But recently i sent him an email about how i've been feeling. Basically saying I have alot of doubt about our realtionship and don't know if we should be together. I also told him i don't feel appreciated and he doesn't do sweet things for me. He just acts like I'l be here forever. And i won't I love him Chauntel like wholeheartedly but if he's not willing to work things out i'm going to have to leave him. He will always be my 1st love and my friend BUtI just really don't know if our relationship will last. SHould i try to work things out and stick it out, B/c I don't wanna loose a good thing. Ya know? but i also don't wanna waste time and regret my decision later on down the road. What should I do? And Is he the One for me like i feel he is?

Hello Lisa,

Thank you for sharing your story. If you don't feel appreciated you deserve better. However, you will have to make the final decision.

All The Best,

Chauntel

www.askchauntel.com

askchauntel@gmail.com

He Said I Am Pretty

12-year-old Robot Girl writes:

Hi Chauntel!

First I would like to say I love your videos! My nickname is Robot Girl, I am 12 years old and I am from New York. I have known this guy ever since we were in the same class in second grade and we have been through a lot. He had been SUPER nice to me and was always worried about me so, I thought he liked me. We hang out all the time and he is still SUPER nice to me. I asked him if he liked me and he said he thought I was pretty but he didn't answer the question. My friends helped by trying to mix me into the talk and he never said anything but "I think she is really pretty." How do I see if he likes me if all he says is you are pretty?

Hi Robot Girl,

Well pretty is a start. The best thing you can do in this situation is be friends with him until he is ready to pursue something with you. You all are both young. Give it time.

All the Best,

Chauntel

www.askchauntel.com

askchauntel@gmail.com

10 Tips to Prepare for a Healthy Relationship

Hey guys here is a link to my article in Urban Queen Magazine!

10 Tips to Prepare for a Healthy Relationship

http://www.uqmagazine.com/#!__relationships

Ask Chauntel Diary Entry

Went to Venice Beach today! Had a lot of fun! Saw a lot of interesting people! Going to Let's Make a Deal Tomorrow.

Peace and Love,

Chauntel

www.askchauntel.com

askchauntel@gmail.com

How to Dress on A Date

Maymay writes:

Hi Chauntel,

I want no how dress 4 my First Date i do not how 2 Dress 4 a date there is a one more thing how do i act he is very cute i like very much.

Hi Maymay,

You should dress in something that makes you feel good, but that also looks attractive to the eye. You should be yourself + a little sexy, but be conservative. You don't want to put it all out there at once. It is not attractive to do so. Leave him with more to imagine about.

But the main thing is you want to dress in something that you feel confident in.

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel
www.askchauntel.com
askchauntel@gmail.com

He Is In Love With Someone Else

Church Girl writes:

Hey Chauntel,

So I Have Been Lookinq Thru Your Videos I See That You Give Really Good Advice. I Was Wonderinq If You Can Help Me. So Im 15 Years Old And I Like This Guy. He Is Such A Great Guy. We Talk On Facebook And Also At Church. But The Problem Is That He Has A Girlfriend, Who He Calls "The One". But It Really Confusses Me Because He Does Thinqs That Are A Clear Siqn of Him Likeing Me. I Just Dont Know Anymore. Please Help!!

Hello Church Girl,

STOP here and turn right!! Let him experience his relationship. Stay friends with him. If it is meant you and him will get together in time.

In the meantime go ahead and keep your options open, but keep him close....just in case!

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel

askchauntel@gmail.com

www.askchauntel.com

We Have A Child and He Left Me

Heartbroken writes:

Hello Chauntel,

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years now and I love him so much. We've had some rough edges in our relationship and I just want him to love me as much as I love him, but I don't hink he even loves me anymore. I really want to be with him because he has always been there fo rme and I truely care about him. I think he likes my best friend because he left his Facebook opened and I couldn't resist opening his email. He always said he didn't like my best friend, but I knew that was a lie because everytime they were together they would always laugh at eachother and he would always have a smile on his face. He always said he wouldn't be with her cause she has 4 kids and no offense, but one with a black guy. I was going to a bar and invited a black guy to come with and he found out because of my best friend telling him everything. He was pissed and broke up with me, but I never left the house because I was never going to do anything with this guy and I would never cheat on my boyfriend. It wasn't like I was actually gonna call him or have my friend call him because I don't even have his number. It's messed up because he can do whatever he wants, but if I do something he gets all pissed off. Yes, i'm still here after he told me he dont want to be with me, but I love him so much and I don't wanna be heartbroken. The hardest part is we have a kid together and I want my son to be with his daddy. I don't know what to do. He says that I complain all the time, but I'm doing the best I can. It's hard cause I'm doing everything by myself with no help. I know that he loves his son and he does alot for us, but I just want him to love me. I'm thinking that they may have even hung out because he will say he goes to a friend house and end up going to his cousins. Sometimes he don't even want to watch his own son. Most of the time he don't want me to go anywhere with him. He always tells me that I have to be with him all the time, but I don't want to be home all day either. I just don't know what to do. He hates it when I tell him what to do because he's so hard headed. HELP!

Hello Heartbroken,

I am sorry that you are going through all of this. It sounds like your relationship was broken even before you went out with the guy, but you should have communicated that you would be going out before you did. Since you didn't it lead him to believe that you were cheating on him.

As far as him liking your friend or even someone else there isn't much that you can do about that. However, I would suggest sitting down and talking to him about how you feel.

But remember, although it is nice for parents to be together for the children, it is never wise to do so unless you all really want to be together.

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel

askchauntel@gmail.com

www.askchauntel.com

If He Doesn't Bite Let Him Find Something Else to Chew

NoCellphone writes:

Hi Chauntel,

I am a youtuber who has a question that is urgent!!!!!!:) Im a girl who has NO cellphone, or facebook. I like a guy that i became friends with at the beginning of this year. When we both realized we wanted the same car and loved to run, my friends thought we were a perfect couple. He would always say hi to me any chance he got with my name included. all the girls have a thing for him, and im the shy one who likes to get good grades. Im constantly complimented for my looks, and this guy actually likes my interests, such as art. we both play violin, but i take private lessons, anyways, when i first met him, he would cling to every word i said and listen intently. he would say hi whenever he could too. he always found something that was in relation to me, and was too kind. i like him now, but when one of my friends told his best friend that i liked him, i noticed that he didnt say hi anymore and in class i would catch him peeking at me. when we had to answer questions in front of the class, his friend saw that i was next and made everyone in the group gave me the easiest question. i looked over to see the guy i liked and he was staring at me with an unreadable expression. just BLANK, something he did a lot in class. he acts like he doesnt know that i like him, even though he isn't aware that i know that he knows i like him. its summerbreak now, but everyone knows i like him. I would REALLY APPRECIATE it if you could tell me what you believe is going on. i dont want to ruin the friendship, but i really want to know, although i wont ask. Thank you for reading this obnoxiously long letter:)

Hello NoCellphone,
If the guy knows that you like him, and he isn't making a move, that means he isn't interested. Focus your attention in another area.

I Hope This Helps,

Chauntel
askchauntel@gmail.com
www.askchauntel.com

She Left Me For Another Man

Hello Chauntel,

I don't know how to even say this because it's all out of the blue.I have a problem and I know it doesn't really have a solution.It's too late for any favorable solution anyway but I can't seem to get past it.Well I've been talking to this girl for quite awhile over internet. She use to live in Wisconsin while I live in South Carolina.We talked for quite sometime and began to get pretty close.She eventually left Wisconsin and went to Georgia where she had family and it was closer to me so maybe me and her had more chance to get together. This is where it gets complicated.I have these times when I get pretty down on myself and during those times it's not uncommon for me to just withdraw from everyone (she and I knew each quite awhile.so she knew this about me).And right around when she moved to Georgia was one of those times.Well she found work at a bar and grill as a waitress and while I was going through this thing she met someone (being at a bar that should come as no surprise) and now she is with him.I wondered why she wasn't emailing me like normal so I checked her facebook page and there it was in black and white.She found someone else. I feel so sad but there's noone to really talk to about it.I'm not the most social person in the world as you could probablly guess.I left a note to her which in hindsight I probablly shouldn't have typed (did apologize to her later though).i was mad at her for not saying anything to me, mad at myself for withdrawing into my shell and allowing a opportunity like her to slip through my fingers.Especially after she went through all the trouble of moving closer.I just can't get over feeling sad about it.

Hello Broken Hearted,

Thank you for sharing your story. The truth is that this is a very difficult situation, but you are not alone. There are many people who experience the same thing. The women in your situation probably just didn't know how to express her feelings to you.

All you can do is pick up the pieces and take it day-by-day. You will feel better in time, but remember it won't happen automatically. Feelings take time to heal. Surround yourself with people who love you.

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel

http://www.askchauntel.com/

askchauntel@gmail.com

5 Steps to How to Approach a Girl - For Shy/Quiet Guys

26-year-old Jay from France writes:

Hello C.

The problem with me is that I'm a very, veryyy shy guy. when i say shy i mean it very shy. I'm afraid to talk to a woman and be reject. This is my problem. Girls approaches me and thats how I end up dating them. But deep down inside my heart I want to marry a woman that I will approach first. I see beautiful woman on the street. few looks and give me that smile but i just dont have the courage to go approach them. Right now I'm dating this girl, she's very nice, but she have attitude problem i'm trying to work that out but I feel like i need to get out there and approach someone who will catch my attention. that will be in public. and in public thats like mission impossible.
in two words. I'm a shy person and I found it very difficult to approach a woman in public. I just dont have that courage.


Hey Jay,

Ok so my advice to you is, you have to begin familiarizing yourself with women. These women should be women that you are not intimidated by.

The first step here is building up your confidence so that you will feel comfortable enough to approach a woman that you are really into.


Everyone, is always looking for a secret recipe, so let me give you one:


1. Be Confident
2. Do not hesitate to make her aware that you are interested (give her a compliment)
3. Be a gentlemen, but don't be so nice that she ignores you
4. Hold a conversation with her that she becomes interested in
5. Create a sense of urgency so as to follow up with the conversation later (this is how you get the number)

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel
askchauntel@gmail.com
www.askchauntel.com

Ask Chauntel is Engaged!

Hello There!

I am so glad to say that you heard it here first! I am engaged!

I have been MIA lately. For a couple of reasons. The usual, school, work, new internship.

BUT nothing compares to the ultimate! Planning a wedding. Stay tuned for a video on this (:
xxxxxx

Chauntel
www.askchauntel.com
askchauntel@gmail.com

10 Great Ways to Surprise Your Spouse

Hey guys my friends from ” (http://www.topdatingsites.com/blog/2011/10-great-ways-to-surprise-your-spouse/) wrote this article. Check it out.

Lots of Love,

Chauntel

Are things getting predictable between the two of you after all those years together? Do you both feel like you’ve hit a dry-spell in your marriage?

It sounds like it’s time to spice things up. Don’t wince! It’s not going to cost you too much, and somehow I think you’re going to come out ahead with your better half. After all, if they’re happy doesn’t that mean you will be as well?

Here are a few suggestions to get things fun again.

The Love Note – Stuff the note in their wallet or purse or maybe tuck it under a windshield wiper or their car’s visor. If they work at home you could even leave the note at their usual work area, whether it is a desk or in the kitchen. You don’t need to be a poet, a simple ‘I love you’ works. Corniness is its own sweetness. Sticky notes can add a bit of fun to the event.
The Computer – Change their desktop wallpaper to a cute photo of you two. It could be your engagement photo or a wedding photo. Or perhaps it could be the photo of that certain vacation spot that took your breath away. Anything that says, “I’m thinking about us.”

Music, Music, Music! – Burn a CD with tunes from your dating days maybe even starting off with your favorite song, or the song you two danced at your wedding reception. Here you might even put one song that is particularly yours because it will make them think of you when you’re not around.

Ah, The Moon! – Find out when is the next full moon and celebrate together with champagne and maybe some cheese and home-baked bread. If you want to be really be romantic how about setting up a table outside in full view of the moon with some candles. You don’t even have to light the candles. Got a telescope?

Their Favorite Thing-Not Yours! – They just love basketball, but you can’t stand it, or their favorite movie is the “Sound of Music”, while you would rather watch “Transformers”? Go out and get those tickets, one for them and one for you.

Breakfast in Bed? – That’s way too predictable. How about dinner in bed (and who cares about the crumbs). So you’re not a cook. Have fun with a TV dinner. Remember, it’s the thought, right?

Introvert or extrovert? – If your spouse is has an introverted personality, then time alone is a great surprise. Take the kids out of the house for a couple of hours so they can have some peace and quiet. If they’re a extrovert who loves to have people around, invite a bunch of friends over for a night of fun. Let them be the life of the party.

Let Them Know You Were Listening – What have they complained about lately? Is their pillow getting flat? Does the garage need some cleaning? It’s always a great surprise to come home and find out that your spouse not only heard what you said, but did something about it.
The Big Split – Go shopping with them at a bookstore or music store together. Now split up. Buy something you know they’ll love. Then wrap it and surprise them.

Give them a Weekend Getaway– Provide your spouse with the opportunity to spend a weekend with their best friend, sibling, or the old college dorm mate. Nothing shows you care more than saying, ‘I want you to have fun.’

The idea is to always keep them guessing. The fun is the surprise. Still water certainly runs deep but it’s just still. Stir it up. Maybe doing these things might provoke your creative juices, or something unique about your spouse will require an adjustment to the ideas above. Are they an intellectual, enjoying a thought-provoking book? Take the note suggestion, and The Big Split and go find that book they told you about and put the note in it before giving it to them. The surprise should always communicate your love and appreciation for them.

How to Gain Self-Esteem

15-year-old Shay from London: writes:

Hi Chauntel,

I used to be really overweight, all the way from when I was a toddler, until about a year ago. I've lost a lot of weight, and although I still have a bit of a way to go,I look so much better than I did before. Due to my previous weight, my confidence level has gone down, so much that there was a period of time where I hated lookinginto mirrors, and I used to tell myself negative things that would happen to me. I can say that I no longer do so, but my confidence level has never come back, I am going to be starting Sixth Form in September and I really want to make new friends, and be able to meet new people, in any given situations. I am very nervous around boys, as I still feel I am the size I was, and I feelthat I am not worth a boy talking to me. I just want to know any help that you could give me, in regard to being more confident around boys and in myself.Thank you so much :-)

Hi Shay,

There are two ways to work confidence. From the outside in, and from the inside out. My advice do both.

My first suggestion is go spice up your wardrobe. You worked hard to get that weight off, so flaunt your stuff honey. Be proud of your body. Believe that you are beautiful. If you feel good about what you're rockin on the outside you will begin to feel better on the inside. Still be you, but take some risks with your clothes. Try a splash of color. Take a friend or family member with you who you trust to help you find some things that look good on you.

Get you hair done, and treat yourself to getting your nails done. Buy a new mirror. It can be a small one, nothing expensive.

Once you are all dolled up, I want you to look into that mirror. The new mirror represents a new reflection of how you will look at yourself. Now instead of focusing on what you don't like, I want you to be brave and begin focusing on what you like in that mirror.

I also want you to get involved in helping others. Volunteer. The joy of helping others will make you even more happy.

As for looking for a guy, its not time for you yet. I want you to focus on building up your self confidence before you think about a relationship. If you get into a relationship right now with low self esteem you are not going to get anything out of it. Once you have built up your esteem then you can begin thinking about a guy, but not before.

All The Best,

Chauntel
www.askchauntel.com
askchauntel@gmail.com

How to Get Him to Ask Me Out?

23-year-old Kathy writes:

Hey Chauntel,Recently I've been thinking that this guy is interested in me but I just can't be certain. We've been friends for about three years now and in the last few months our relationship has really intensified. We spend a lot more alone time together and then there are all the little things. When we're with a group of people he always sits next to me. He says things like he loves my laugh. Plus, our mutual guy friends are starting to make jokes about the two of us as a couple. I believe in the guy pursuing the girl but hints have been dropped since October/November. How do I get him to talk it out? I haven't been in a relationship for years and I really just want to do things right. If I'm reading the signals right at all. Thanks.

Hi Kathy,
From the information that you have given me, I cannot be confident in saying that he likes you. However, it seems that it is too soon to tell. However, you have to keep in mind that if a guy is interested he will make that aparent. He maybe on the slowful side with expressing himself.
I am in total agreeance with you, you should let him pursue you. However, you can flirt alittle and see how he reacts. It seems your stuck in the friend zone. Watch this video. It should help:




All The Best,
Chauntel
www.askchauntel.coma
askchauntel@gmail.com

Ask Chauntel Diary Entry- Wisdom Teeth Extraction

Hello Loves!

So I had my wisdom teeth pulled out last Friday! Ouch! Yikes! And all that jazz.

I am all stitched up ): So not fun.

My life is talking so it has been very difficult not to talk. My friends are getting a kick out of it though. I am still very sore, swelling, and in pain. At least I don't look like a chipmunk anymore.

That is the good news. The bad news is I don't know when I will feel well enough to do a video again, so I will be using my blog more frequently. I am feeling much better though.

I learned that pain killers are more like drugs omg....they are so strong, and not always in a good way haha. So I am finally in my last semester of school. That is exciting.

Currently looking for an internship so if you know of something interesting comment below. Hey you can just comment in general.

Lots of Love!

Chauntel

How to Ask Him Out

13-year-old Harriet writes:

Hey Chauntel !

first you are amazing but I have a question. i have a HUGE crush on a guy that is in the same class as I am , I would like to ask him idk how you say it in English but i mean ask him do yu want to be in a realationship with me ? in Dutch we say : aanvragen

so yeah how where and when do I ask him ?
You need to know that I only see him in school he likes me and almost everywhere there are pp in my school the only thing I could do is ask him to stay on the 2nd floor and when everybody is gone i'll ask him ?
please help me out! thx xoxo

Hello Harriet,

It is best that you let him ask you to be in a relationtionship. Let him be the man. Just get to know him and flirt a bit to let him know that you are interested. He will do the rest!

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel
askchauntel@gmail.com
www.askchauntel.com

Where not to go on a first date! - Dating Advice - Ask Chauntel

Nice Guys Don't Let Women Take Advantage - Dating and Relationship Advic...

Why Is He Distant?

Lisa from London writes:

Hey Chauntel!

first of all i am a huge fan and i trust your advice....

i like this guy since we chated in summer in june, we chat everyday and when school started he deleted me from everything including is black berry messanger. I still like him and i wanna talk to him face to face but i cant cause i have no confidence and very shy, all girls drool over him like hes a piece of candy. He likes to talk to 3 specific girls and 1 new girl who is ugly and chats with her...

so my question is why is he ignoring me since sckool started and why doesnt he wanna say hi or smile?

Hello Lisa,

In order to be a good boyfriend, they guy must first be a good friend. He is not treating you as a friend should. What does this mean? He needs to mature, and until then you will be wasting your time if you continue to pursue him.

You cannot force someone to do something they don't want to do. If he is not interested in talking to you, you have to let it go. There is a guy who would feel honored to grace your prescence. He is not the guy.

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel
askchauntel@gmail.com
www.askchauntel.com

How Do I Get Her Back?

Black Guy writes:

I am an undergraduate student and i met a working class girl online, we talked for a while and we exchanged number. we both fixed a date for coffee which was established. we talked really fine and she dropped me off my residence because she drives, i am 2 years older than her and i am a black guy while she is white girl. after the date i began to call and text her more than usual and that became to make her annoyed because she didnt like it. I told her that i liked her she replied i didnt know her, so how can i like her just like that. i tried explaining to her that i really liked her and i even called her 45 times in 2 hours and that got her to say that she doesnt want someone like that. after few days i asked her for another date but she turned me down and said she is not interested. I continue to try make her know that i like her but she gets more angry. i then told her that i would leave her alone. so later i text her again and told her that i am sorry and i didnt mean to, that i still like her. i text her again the following asking how is work and how is she doing too. then she replied thanks. Now i am beging to be confused because if she sound like she is tired of me but yet she try to reply my text sometimes but not all the time. What can i do and how can i make her like me and give me the chance because i really like her and wants her to be my girl.

Hello Black Guy,

This is the thing: YOU SCARED HER AWAY. There is no return.

She replies to your texts sometimes because she is VERY NICE. However, she is not going to give you the time of day. You have lost your mystery. She is not interested in getting to know you any longer.

My advice is leave this girl alone. She is creeped out by you. You never call a girl that many times in an hour. You will surely scare her away. In fact you should never call her that much even in 2 weeks.

What you can now do is learn from this experience.

If you have a date one night. You can follow up the next night. If she doesn't answer let her call you back, or call her back a couple of days later. You made yourself out to be desperate. That is unattractive to women.

I am going to recommend that you watch my most viewed video:


I Hope This Helps!
Chauntel
askchauntel@gmail.com
www.askchauntel.com

Guys Have Feelings Too

29-year-old Vijay from India writes:

Hi Chauntel,
I watched your video "Dating Advice" on you tube, its cool.

Well before going further i would to wish to Marry Christmas and Happy New Year.
Now my problem is,I had a female friend. I used to like her so much. so i proposed her one day but she got angry and i lost friendshipwith her too. It was my first time proposing someone, I was 21 years old at that time. I was seriously feeling hurt because of that incident.

Hello Vijay,

Happy New Year to you as well. I understand that it hurts when you are rejected. Sometimes it takes some time to heal. That time is important. However, there comes a time when you have to let the hurt go so that you can continue to move forward.

In order for you to be happy you will have to leave the past in the past and look to the future. In the present you are actively passing up the opportunity to love. Love is a risk that is worth taking. However, when you take a risk there is always a chance of getting hurt. As long as you can accept that you will be ok.

My advice is take the risk, but guard your heart until it is time to let the walls down. Although, men are told not to show emotion, it's ok to feel and that is what you are doing right now. So decide in your mind that you are going to take this risk to ensure your own happiness.

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel
askchauntel@gmail.com
www.askchauntel.com

He Blocked Me on Facebook

Hey guys listen to my answer to Alex's question:

http://www.ustream.tv/recorded/11807207

All The Best,

Chauntel

askchauntel@gmail.com

www.askchauntel.com

I am Too Shy To Talk to Him

14-year-old CassySwaggaGirl from Canada writes:

Hi! Ok so there's this guy that likes me. I know it because one of his friends told me and he always seemed nervous around me and he always tried to get my attention and it was obvious. All of his friends knew that i liked him back. The problem is that its been 2 years since we liked eachother but we don't wanna talk to eachother. My friends think that i scare guys away since im pretty bitchy with them. Thats why he didn't wanted to talk to me. Because he is scared of me. I'm to shy too talk to him and he's shy too talk to me. And I made him suffer so its even harder. What should I do? ps. if i was a bitch with him, its because i wanted to hide my feelings. (I know smart) thank you!!! :)

Hola CassySwaggaGirl!

He just needs to get to know you again. Maybe you should try being a little nicer this time. If he is worth it he'll give you another shot. If not then just learn from this so that you don't make the same mistake again. Don't beat yourself up about this. We all have these experiences.

As far as you being shy, you won't find it so hard to talk to him once you become friends with him. It just takes time to build up that relationship.

Also, this video should help:


I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel
askchauntel@gmail.com
www.askchauntel.com

He Won't Kiss Me!

13-year-old Haley from Nebraska writes:

Dear Chauntel,

I'm 13 and I'm dating this boy. we have been dating for 3 months :) and I really want to kiss him. I have had my first kiss last year :) but Now when i have asked to kiss him and when he thinks we should he said he doesn't know. he said we weren't ready. :( I am his first GF so maybe he's just super nervous but pls give me advice on how to get him to kiss me :) I have been ready for the last 3 months :) thanks

Hi Haley,

It sounds like you have a nice guy here. Don't rush him. You are so young. There is plenty of time. Appreciate him, and when it is time it will happen on its own. Trust.

You get the exercise patience picture.

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel

askchauntel@gmail.com

www.askchauntel.com

He is Just Not that Into You

13-year-old Gifty101 writes:

There's this guy I like who's 15 and his name is Franklin. He goes tomy church and I have a huge crush on him. Whenever I see him I getnervous and can't speak and I'm unable to flirt with him. One of hisfriends told him that I liked him and he said he knew but he wouldrather date someone in his own grade cause he's a freshmen inhighschool and I'm a senior in middle school. Should I be happy withthat response, does that mean he would go out with me or he likes me.I need help to build confidence and start flirting with him. Can youplease tell me any signs of him liking me or him wanting to go outwith me. I'll send you a picture of him and a separate picture of me.

Hello Gifty101,

This guy is doing you a favor by being honest with you. Most guys will give you the run around. So there are no signs. He was crystal clear. He is not interested.

I know it hurts to accept it, but for now you should build a friendship with him. There will be other guys. You just have to be patient love (:

All The Best,

Chauntel

askchauntel@gmail.com

http://www.askchauntel.com/

Go to a Black Church?

Michael T. BIGGEST FAN writes:

Hi Chauntel,

BIG FAN! Anyways, I got a problem. I like to visit many places and countries and churches. And I have been practically to more than 15 countries; since I'm in the Air force, but never got to visit a black church. I really like how they praise God and Sing...Do you know if I will be welcomed to the church? How would people view me in there? For example if you were in church and saw a white guy what would you think?...I really love this church and want to go to it, but I'm no sure how to proceed with it.I know your advice is always the right one.Thanks for any advice!

Hi Michael,

God is for everyone in every church no matter what. Although you may get a second look or smile when you first come into a black church they will accept you with open arms! I say go for it! If you are feeling uncomfortable then there is something wrong with that church and you should try another. I know because I go to one (:

All The Best!

Chauntel

askchauntel@gmail.com

www.askchauntel.com

Date A Guys Bestfriend?

14-Year-Old Katie writes:
Hi Chauntel,
Last year I had a big crush on this guy but i'm losing feelings for him but i'm starting to like his best friend, me and his best friend talk alot we are good friends but i'm scared to tell him I like him because I don't want are friendship to get weird.

Hi Katie,
Never date a guys bestfriend it makes you look bad.
I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel

askchauntel@gmail.com

www.askchauntel.com

Hairy Arms- What to do?

12-years-old Allen Girl from Georgia writes:

Hey, Chauntel.

I Have very hairy arms, and it affects a lot of what I wear and do. My brothers make fun of me all the time, and some of my friends do, too. What should I do? I just want to get rid of it. I feel totally different from everybody else, cause everyone I know doesn't have to deal with this. Please Help!

Hello Allen Girl,

You are not alone! There is this thing called puberty. During puberty these things in your body called hormones change. This happens as a result of a change in your pituitary gland.
Boys and girls both get hairy arms when this happens. It is natural.

As you will observe, there are other things that change in your body during puberty as well besides the hairy armpits in both girls and boys.

The only way that you would not have hairy arms is if there was something significantly wrong with your body. In some countries hairy arms on women is attractive.

In America, women are usually teased for hairy arms.

So what do we do? We usually use hair removal cremes, and or a razor and shaving creme. Veet is a great hair removal creme, but for your under arms I recommend shaving. Talk to your mom about this she can help you buy what you need!

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel
askchauntel@gmail.com
www.askchauntel.com

Ask Chauntel Diary Entry 1/1/11

Hello My Loves!

Wow its 1/1/11. That will never happen again!

I had an awesome time praising God, and thanking him for helping me come into a new year. It has been awesome watching Oprah on OWN as well.

So, I am catching up with reading your questions! Excited with what we are getting ready to do with http://www.askchauntel.com/

Enjoy time with your families! I know I will!

Lots of Love,

Chauntel
askchauntel@gmail.com
http://www.askchauntel.com/