He is Not Claiming Me!

What is up with guys? Says one thing then another?

14-year-old Lala from California writes:

Hey Chauntel,

Okay so i had this guy tell me he likes me
and then a little after somehow some of my friends found out that he likes me then asked him infront of me infront of like 3million people then he simply said no.
then after that incident he sent two of his friends to ask me if i liked him and i said no since i was embarrased and sine he already said no
then when i was texting him
a WHILE after i asked him stuff like
" this guy is being a jerk but now his being nice just to get me to like him again, your a guy would you EVER do that to a girl?
and his words were,
if they ever messed up with a girl like you thats what any guy would do to get you to like him.
and i thought that he was definately sending the wrong signals
then as the conversation grew deeper he kept telling me how he'll always be there for me.
WHAT IS UP WITH HIM?

Hello Lala!

It sounds like he is tryin to save face. Guys say one thing and do another for many different reasons. However, most of the time it is to avoid something.

In your particular situation it seems that he is giving into peer pressure. For whatever reason he doesn't want his friends to know that he is interested in you.

What does that mean for you? Run far away. This is a bad start off to a new relationship, and it is a recipe for disaster. Go find a guy who is proud to stand beside you and will hold his head up high when his friends ask about you.

He is not that guy!

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel

www.askchauntel.com

askchauntel@gmail.com

Does He Still Like Me?

19-year-old Muggy from South Carolina writes:

Hey Chauntel,

My nickname is Muggy I live in SC and I am 19. I have a question to ask you. Me and my guy friend have been friends since the 12th grade and he liked me then. He has this nickname that he calls me. But now that we are in college ( not the same college)! He calls me and text me! And we tried to do longdistance relationship but it was so hurtful to where it aint work. So we are just friends again! I really like him! But I just dont understand that he now has a girlfriend but yet he still calls me and texts me! And he also teases me. HELP!!!!! Does he still like me?????

Hey Muggy,

Believe it or not, currently you are winning in this situation. I don't know all the ins and outs of your relationship.

However, it sounds like he really cares about you, he is just with her because she is there. At some point he may grow to fall in love with her so be ready for that.

To answer your specific question, yes he still likes you. But there is nothing you can do right now except keep your friendship alive. If it is meant for you both to be together then you will in time.

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel
www.askchauntel.com
askchauntel@gmail.com

Once A Cheater Always a Cheater?

14-year-old Heather writes:

I have a boyfriend who i went with awhile back in like..march and he cheated and i did to..but i loved him and about 3weeks ago we saw each other at a party exchanged numbers as friends and he texted me that night and we talked as friends then a few days later he texted again and we talked about our relationships we were both single and he was like well we should try again even though i know you maynot want to..so i simply said youhave comitment problems and he said not anymore so i thought about it and asked my friends they said i should try and see but i have other friends and they said i shouldnt..so i told him we can try but we have to have rules she we gave each rules so were together but he doesnt have a phone anymore so i only talk to him on the internet untill he gets a new phone but i feel he should call from someones phone and idk if he'll cheat again is it true once a cheater always a cheater?

Hello Heather,

Usually if you cheats once you will cheat again. However, in my opinion if you cheat once, it doesn't necessarily mean that you will absolutely cheat again.

In your case however, it doesn't seem to make since to be back with him until you all can both talk on the phone and have a relationship. You are only 14 now. The best thing to do in this situation is continue being friends with him and get to know him better for yourself.

Ultimately, you will have to make the decision if he is right for you. That will take getting to know him better. Take this time to build a frienship. That will make for a better relationship in the future if it is meant!

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel
www.askchauntel.com
askchauntel@gmail.com

Stop Making Excuses for Him!

22-year-Old Flowers writes:

Hey Chauntel

So i have watching almost all of your videos and you have some great advice!
so here we go:

I knew this guy since last year. We were in the exploration classes together year round. i hadnt liked him at the time but i have noticed i do like him..
Last year we would joke, make fun of each other and he would tell these random stories of me getting killed and stuff.

This year he came to our wood work class and was helping as a teacher assistant. He said hi to me and asked me if i remembered the sotried and said yes. Sometimes in the class he wouldnt say hi to me, and just ignore me some days. It made me go crazy! But some days he would help me with my prodject and one time i asked if he was busy and he said yes but helped me anyways.

After he helped me he asked if i needed anymore help and i said no, but when he watched me afterwards, he came back and helped me anyways. he helped me for the entire class too. Sometimes our hands would touch but he wouldnt move his hands. My friends say that he likes me just the way he looked at me and how he didnt help someone that long!

When we clean up in the wood shop he would come up to me and ask random questioons like whats for lunch and the teacher had just said what was for lunch...

I really like him and talk to him on faceook but he only replys a couple times. h does have an ipod touch so he doesnt alwasy see my message...
Anways does he like me?

Hi Flowers,

He just sounds like a nice guy. He doesn't sound like he is interested. If he was interested he would have showed more interest by now.

Lay off and focus your energy on continuing the search for the right guy. The bottom line is if a guy likes you he will take time for you. Stop making excuses for him!

If he isn't showing interest he isn't feelin it!

I Hope That Helps!

Chauntel
www.askchauntel.com
askchauntel@gmail.com

He Likes Me and My Friend Likes Him

Apple writes:

Hey Chauntel ,

I was wonderin if u could help me on a lil promblem i saw ur video on youtube. Ok well i have a bf and i didnt know my friend likes him and he really likes me but i dont want to hurt my friend cuz she liked he before me and now i feel bad cuz i feel like i am being a bad friend. i told him about it cuz it was bugging me. He doesnt want to lose me but i think that they would be alot better then me and him. And i really dont know what to do. It pains me to see her sad and it pains me to hear my bf to say im the best and he never wants to leave me. I feel torn into. Write back when you get a chance. thanks.

Hello Happy! You have to choose which is more important to you. The guy or the friendship? The relationship with him will probably only last a while, but your friendship could last a lifetime.
I Hope This Helps!
Chauntel
www.askchauntel.com

He Thinks I'm A Big Flirt

Angel writes:

iv benn having probems with a guy...iv like him for a long time and he knows i do..nd he says he likes me too.i can c that he does nd i feel it bt he jus doesnt want to be my bf..he says he doesnt want a gf bt last time he told me that he gt with this other girl wich he never hold or kissed..im scared of him cus hes the closest iv gotten to love.(i havent been in love)i dnt want to tho cuz im scared hes jus gunna hurt me agin..my friends all say that they cn tell he likes me bt then hes also a big time flurt..bt hes kind to me idk!!!!help

Hello Angel,

It is best that he is honest with you. You don't want to force a relationship with him. If he wants to be with you then great. If not don't try to make it happen because you will just be hurt in the long run.

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel
www.askchauntel.com

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Guys Aren't Attracted to Me

14-Year-Old Katie from England writes:
I don't attract guys.its probably because i have really low self esteem and i struggle to talk to the ones i like.i've never had a boyfriend, occasionaly lads flirt with me a little but they tend to ignore me.i'm not the most popular in school but seriously, i'm not unpopular or anything.i do have really low self esteem which i think has escalated from they way people treat me and to be honest i've had enough, theres nothing wrong with me, i've just been through a stage where i thought i was the ugliest fattest bitch around, and the other day i just thoughtyou know what there is nothing wrong with me at all.i mean i'm no supermodel, but i ain't ugly.nor am i fat.i think its because i don't you know have a reputation for being easy en all. all the girls that the guys go for are in the 'crew' who lets just say get around. i'm not like that, i like to be mysterious en all, are lads just getting lazy and going for these sluts now?i don't think that even if lads in school liked me they wouldn't dare do anything about it at the risk of looking 'uncool' in front of all the rest of them because you know, it's not 'cool' to like me or something :S . outside of school lads look at me smile, wink whatever and things like that you know kind of got me thinking well maybe i'm not as ugly as i think i am.i'm a bit confused to be honest ^ can you not tell i don't think any of that made sense.but if it did, pleasee give me some advice on what you think i should do or what you thinks going on ectt..
Hi Katie,
Yes, I get the feeling that you are wise beyond your years. Honestly, you should not worry about attracting guys. I am sure you that you do attract guys; they just value your worth and have respect for you and are therefore not ready to approach you.
You are the kind of girl that guys don't just date, they marry. So take it as a compliment.
When the right guy comes along, you will know. In the meantime just focus on being the best you. There is plenty of time for dating.
I Hope This Helps!
Chauntel
www.askchauntel.com

I Don't Attract Guys

14-Year-Old Katie from England writes:

I don't attract guys.its probably because i have really low self esteem and i struggle to talk to the ones i like.i've never had a boyfriend, occasionaly lads flirt with me a little but they tend to ignore me.i'm not the most popular in school but seriously, i'm not unpopular or anything.i do have really low self esteem which i think has escalated from they way people treat me and to be honest i've had enough, theres nothing wrong with me, i've just been through a stage where i thought i was the ugliest fattest bitch around, and the other day i just thoughtyou know what there is nothing wrong with me at all.i mean i'm no supermodel, but i ain't ugly.nor am i fat.i think its because i don't you know have a reputation for being easy en all. all the girls that the guys go for are in the 'crew' who lets just say get around. i'm not like that, i like to be mysterious en all, are lads just getting lazy and going for these sluts now?i don't think that even if lads in school liked me they wouldn't dare do anything about it at the risk of looking 'uncool' in front of all the rest of them because you know, it's not 'cool' to like me or something :S . outside of school lads look at me smile, wink whatever and things like that you know kind of got me thinking well maybe i'm not as ugly as i think i am.i'm a bit confused to be honest ^ can you not tell i don't think any of that made sense.but if it did, pleasee give me some advice on what you think i should do or what you thinks going on ectt..

Hi Katie,

Yes, I get the feeling that you are wise beyond your years. Honestly, you should not worry about attracting guys. I am sure you that you do attract guys; they just value your worth and have respect for you and are therefore not ready to approach you.

You are the kind of girl that guys don't just date, they marry. So take it as a compliment.

When the right guy comes along, you will know. In the meantime just focus on being the best you. There is plenty of time for dating.

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel

www.askchauntel.com

When to kiss a girl?

21-Year-old Timon writes:

When is the best time to kiss a girl. i knw how to build attraction but i don't knw whn is the right time to kiss the girl... sometimes i get scared that if i kiss her she might move away and say something that would make me feel awkward...

Hello Timon,

The best time to kiss the girl is when you have established that you are both interested and comfortable with eachother. Take her out and build a relationship. You may go to a nice dinner, bowling, and/or a movie. You will know when it is time to lean in for a kiss. If she is not ready her body language will tell you. If she leans in with you then you will know she is ready for a kiss. If she pulls away or hesitates just give it more time!

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel

http://www.askchauntel.com/

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel

www.askchauntel.com

How Honest is Too Honest?

32-Year-Old Mark from Arizona writes:

Hello Chauntel,

I've seen several of your YouTube videos and had a few questions of my own. There was a situation in college I was wondering about. In my Psychology of Sexuality class, there was a woman who seemed attracted to me despite the fact that she had already mentioned in class that she has a boyfriend. I wasn't attracted, so I simply didn't pay attention to her hoping she would take the non-verbal cues, yet it simply made her more determined it seemed. She would stare at me in class, to the point where I would catch her in the act. Before class while waiting outside the classroom, she would get close to me and stare at me, yet not say anything, which made for a strange situation. One time, she actually followed me to my next class, and brushed against me while walking past me, which was a blatant signal for me to pay attention to her. I don't understand why a woman who had already said she had a boyfriend would be pursuing me in this manner. Why is she this determined to get my attention when I've made it clear that I'm not interested? I'm a direct person and I have no problem telling someone I'm not attracted, yet without any actual communication it's not really appropriate for me to take her aside to explain all of this. She's knows what she's doing, so me pointing it out is kind of redundant, but it's annoying. In your opinion, does she want sex or just attention or something else entirely? Also, how much honesty is too much honesty? I'm a very real person and I don't sugarcoat things, so when people ask me questions I give them the real, which can be brutal at times. In terms of women, is it good to be completely honest or hold some things back? I have no issue approaching women and talking to them, but I wonder if I come across as too dominant and scaring them off. I'm what you'd call a dominant type guy, not necessarily a nice guy, though, so any advice would be appreciated.

Hi Mark,

She may not have been happy within her relationship and was looking for something new. She may have been lieing about the relationship as well. It's best to be honest with her if the opportunity presented itself. Since she was not picking up on non verbal codes you shouldn't sugarcode.Believe it or not, women like when men are firm. It makes us have more faith in the man. We feel more safe. So, don't worry about being too dominant. You seem like a nice guy, just be who you are!

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel

www.askchauntel.com

He Asked me Out. What Should I do?

15 Year Old Eloisa writes:

Dear Chauntel,
This guy asks me out yesterday! This is the first time someone has asked me out. He wants to make out with me and I don't know what to do. I have never kissed someone and I'm really shy! What should I do? I kinda want to but I'm not sure! What are some good suggestions for a first date? And where is a good place to makeout?

Hi Eloisa,

At this point you and him need to build a friend before you rush into a relationship. Everything will fall into place after that.

I Hope This Helps!

Chauntel
www.askchauntel.com
askchauntel@gmail.com